“I’ll try. It’s…” Shane shrugged a little. “It’s hard. I want to protect you. The people I care about. I hated not being with you these past months. Trusting other agents to keep you safe. After Al, I kept wondering what if.”
“But here I am. I worry about you too, you know.” Rafa smiled. “We’ll keep each other safe, okay?”
“Okay.” Shane rubbed their noses together.
Still smiling, Rafa bit his lip. “Were you really going to go to Australia for me?”
“Yep. Figured even if you told me to hit the road, I could get in some surfing.” He kept his tone light, but even with Rafa in his bed, he ached at the thought of how it would have felt if Rafa hadn’t wanted him.
“No way.” Rafa grinned and kissed him softly. “I’ve had a million daydreams about that happening. But then I decided to go for it. Not wait around for you to sweep me off my feet.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“I can’t believe you’re really coming with me.” He laughed, clearly giddy. “I’ve waited so long, and I feel like my life is finally starting.” He reached up and pressed his finger to Shane’s lips. “And before you say it, yes, I want it to be with you, and no, I don’t care that you’re older.”
Busted. “How do you know what I was going to say?”
Rafa scoffed. “You think you’re all stoic and unreadable, but I’ve got your number. So just let it go, okay? I’m right where I want to be.”
But what about tomorrow? Or the next day? In a year, or five?
Shane forced the worry away. He felt like his life was finally starting too. Time for some optimism. “Okay.”
Rafa’s gaze raked over Shane’s body, and he caressed idly, sending shivers down Shane’s spine. Shane inched closer, nudging his thigh between Rafa’s.
“So…do you ever…um…”
“What?” Shane traced around Rafa’s nipple. “You can ask me anything.”
“Do you ever… Does anyone ever fuck you?” Rafa’s cheeks flushed.
“Once in a while. Do you want to?” Shane had never had a great time bottoming, but for Rafa he’d do anything.
“I don’t know. Maybe?” He laughed nervously. “I’ve never really thought about it. I always fantasized about being fucked. Is that weird? I know being a bottom is, like…” He waved his hand, his face getting redder.
“Like what? Effeminate?” When Rafa nodded, Shane shook his head. “That’s bullshit. Anyone who thinks that has their own issues to deal with, starting with misogyny.”
“So you don’t think…I don’t know. Less of me or whatever? For wanting it?” He ducked his head.
Shane tipped up Rafa’s chin. “Do you think less of me for wanting to fuck you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why would it be okay for me to want to fuck you, but not for you to want to get fucked?”
Laughing, Rafa shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I just…I want to make sure I’m doing everything right.”
“Oh, you’re doing it right. Trust me.” Shane ran his fingertips across Rafa’s nose, brushing his freckles, which stood out even more when he blushed. “Your ass is made for being fucked.” He reached behind Rafa to tease his crease, and Rafa lifted his leg over Shane’s hip. “Mmm. See? Comes naturally to you, doesn’t it?” He circled Rafa’s tender hole, careful not to push. “Did you like having a cock up your ass?”
Nodding breathlessly, Rafa bit his lip. “Have you really never done this before? Fucked raw, I mean.”
He shook his head. “You’re the first.” Last. Everything. “You have no idea how many times I jerked off imagining this.”
His eyes lighting up, Rafa sucked in a breath. “Can I see?”
Shane chuckled as heat tingled through him. “Want to see me touch myself?”
Even though he blushed furiously, Rafa kept his gaze on Shane’s. “Yeah. I want that.”
Shane disentangled himself so he could reach the lube on the side table. He bent up his left leg, giving himself some purchase while not blocking Rafa’s view on his right side. Slicking his palm, Shane stroked his cock, which had been twitching to life for the past few minutes and now swelled in his hand. He groaned, and Rafa did too.
“Oh my God, I’m going to shoot in five seconds.” Rafa tugged on his dick, which was indeed straining already.
“Don’t touch yourself. I’m going to make you come after.”
Nodding eagerly, Rafa pushed up and sat back on his heels, keeping his hands behind him. His cock bobbed, glistening, and Shane licked his lips. Rafa watched him avidly, his lips parting as Shane twisted his own nipples and thrust up into his hand. Shane didn’t think anyone had watched him jerk off since he was a kid messing around with the other boys down at the beach, and the way Rafa looked at him like he was the sexiest, most amazing thing he’d ever seen sent another surge of possessive energy through Shane.