“Says who?”
“Like, the world? That old show they filmed here. Instagram. TikTok. YouTube. It feels like I’m supposed to want to be clubbing and screwing like it’s nothing. It’s not supposed to be such a big deal, and I’m terrified I’ll mess it up and get laughed at.”
Max said, “Well, a hookup’s not going to laugh at you unless he’s a total asshole.”
“That’s the thing—how do I know he’s not? That first guy tonight seemed cool, but I doubt he wants to court me like I’m a Victorian maiden until I decide he’s trustworthy.”
Laughing, Max bumped Jeremy’s shoulder. “It’s not like you have to fuck a dude right away. Go out a few times. See if you click. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”
“And this mythical guy’s going to patiently date me while he could be hooking up with a million men on apps? I’ve never even kissed.”
Max stopped by a house that had multicolored lights strung up a tree—all the way to the top, thank you very much—oversized ornaments dangling from the barren branches. He took hold of Jeremy’s shoulders. Blue, red, green, pink, and gold glowed over Jeremy’s face, reflected in his glasses.
“You’re building this up way too much. You need to get out of your own way. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. I could kiss you right now.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed with an audible gulp. It was freaking adorable, and Max wanted to ruffle his hair and keep him safe from the world.
He also really, really wanted to kiss him.
Hey, he’d be doing Jeremy a favor. Taking this big, scary thing and bringing it down to earth where it belonged. But he wanted this too.
Slowly, Max ran his gloved hands across Jeremy’s shoulders and up to frame his face. He hoped the leather wasn’t too cold, but Jeremy didn’t jerk away. He stood unmoving, lips parted, breathing shallowly, his eyes locked on Max’s under his color-sparkled glasses.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” Max asked.
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Yep.”
Jeremy’s eyes flicked down to Max’s mouth and back up again. He breathed shallowly. “You’re just being nice.”
“Trust me, I’m not that nice. You’re gorgeous. Of course I want to kiss you.” He said it with a grin and a shrug, belying the thumping of his heart.
Leaning in a few inches, Jeremy licked his lips, and Jesus he was trying to kill Max. “Okay. Kiss me, please.”
Max smiled at the politeness. Watching Jeremy carefully, he leaned down and pressed their mouths together. Their lips were dry and cold and so were their noses. Max tilted his head slightly, kissing Jeremy tenderly. No tongue, nothing forceful or sexy. Just sweet—although as Jeremy clutched Max’s waist and let out a soft little sound, Max’s dick came to life.
With a vengeance.
Jeremy’s lips parted on a sigh, and Max couldn’t resist sweeping his tongue inside, tasting meat and sauerkraut—which he surely tasted of too, so it wasn’t bad—with a hint of sweet orange pop. Which was somehow perfect as Jeremy tentatively met Max’s tongue with his own.
After a few more seconds, Max leaned back, trying not to show how much he was affected. Because it was just a little kiss, and there was zero reason his dick should be joining the party with that level of enthusiasm. Jeremy blinked up at him, and Max still cradled his cheeks.
“There,” Max said hoarsely before clearing his throat. “Your first kiss is out of the way.”
Jeremy stared breathlessly. He was still gripping Max’s waist through the layer of his coat, and he licked his pink lips. Shit, Max’s dick liked that a whole lot. Jeremy smiled—beamed—and Max let go of him. Well, he let go of his face and took hold of his shoulders instead. He didn’t want Jeremy to feel rejected or anything.
It wasn’t because he couldn’t stop touching him.
He tried for a casual tone. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”
“No,” Jeremy whispered. He pushed up his snow-wet glasses. “Not bad at all. Not scary.”
Max wanted to tell him that now he just needed to find someone cool who’d go slow with him. Someone he trusted.
Someone like me.
Because it made sense, right? Max couldn’t rely on some random dude to take care of Jeremy the way he needed. The way he deserved. Max wanted to help him have fun and figure out what he liked. Did Jeremy have sensitive nipples? Would he like ass play? Getting fucked? Doing the fucking? Blow jobs, rimming?
He could imagine Jeremy naked and spread under him, his freckled skin flushed and that pink mouth open on a moan—
Max’s lungs seized, his balls tight and his dick rock hard now. Jeremy still stared up at him, and Max swore it was raw hunger he saw on Jeremy’s flushed face, in his parted lips and soft panting breaths. He wanted to offer Jeremy more. He’d promise to go slow and make it so good for him. Shit, he wanted to beg Jeremy for more—to let Max teach him.