Tyson was right behind him, taller and even more stupidly handsome with gleaming white teeth—too straight and perfect to be anything but veneers—and brown skin. He pumped Ben’s hand, and they all pretended they were great old friends, and that Ben’s heart hadn’t been eviscerated, no matter how much he and Brad had grown apart.
Ben nodded at Lincoln, still being held by Dee, who kept her gaze down. “He’s really growing.”
“Every day we notice something new,” Brad gushed. “It’s incredible.”
Tyson asked, “Would you like to hold him?”
In the beat of awkward silence, bile rose in Ben’s throat. God, he did want to hold him. He’d always imagined fatherhood as a huge part of his life. Raising and shaping and loving his kids, guiding their first steps, bandaging scraped knees, reading stories before bed and giving in as they begged for just one more.
He wanted to explore the world with them, take them camping and hiking the way his dad had. Teach them to love the forests and lakes and mountains the way he did. He wanted more from life than he had. He wanted a family.
Now Brad had one with Tyson. How wonderful for them.
With all eyes on him, Ben managed a smile. “No, no. I’ve got work to do.” But to prove it didn’t bother him—nope, not him, not bothered at all—he went over and leaned close, ignoring Dee’s sympathetic gaze. “Hey, little guy. He’s beautiful.”
Lincoln gurgled, and when Ben tapped his nose, Lincoln grabbed onto his index finger, his tiny, pudgy hand gripping with surprising strength. Ignoring a pang of wistful longing echoing dully in his chest, Ben stepped away and smiled brightly as he asked, “You guys on vacation?” He realized he was fisting his hands and forced his fingers to relax.
“Just for a few days,” Tyson answered. “I’m going to New York next week to shoot a movie, so we wanted to make the rounds of all the offices and show off Lincoln like Brad promised everyone.”
“Terrific,” Ben said too forcefully.
Brad eyed him over a strained smile. “Great job on the proposal for the new guest services. I’m going to push for it with the board, but they’re cutting back more and more. I can’t make any promises.”
You never could. “Sure, sure.” The phone rang, and Ben practically lunged for his office. “Dee, I’ll get it. Catch you guys later!” He shut the door behind him and stabbed at the blinking light on the phone to take what turned out to be a report of garbage dumped on the side of a road, which would draw bears.
A few minutes later, there was a tentative knock at his door, and he forced an even, pleasant tone. Nothing wrong with me! Nope, not a thing. “Come in.”
Dee filled the doorway. “They’re gone.”
Ben glanced back at his paperwork. “Hmm? Oh, okay.”
“Sorry about that.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “You know, with the kid.”
Some of the tension loosened from Ben’s shoulders, and his smile was real. “You’re allowed to hold the cute baby, Dee.”
She sighed. “Too bad his fathers are schmucks.”
“Yeah, well. That’s life, right? He can cry into his millions.”
“Brad’s got some nerve. If he wasn’t the boss, I’d tell him exactly what I think.” She crossed her arms. “You know you deserved that promotion to chief ranger. You’re never going to get your due here, not with him in charge. He’s afraid people will cry favoritism if he promotes you.”
“Not much I can do about that.”
“I mean, you shouldn’t even be on nightly food patrol. With all your years of experience? You’re way beyond that, and he knows it. We all know it.”
Ben shrugged. “I don’t mind that part, actually. It’s peaceful at night, walking through the campgrounds.” He loved strolling under the stars, spotting the campers around their fires, or knowing they were tucked away snug in their tents. It made him feel good to keep them safe.
Despite the many warnings, some visitors didn’t take the threat of bears seriously, and while Ben didn’t enjoy confiscating food, he was responsible for these people, and it brought him a sense of calm and satisfaction he couldn’t really explain.
“Be that as it may, you know there is something you can do about the fact that you deserve more from this job.” Dee raised an eyebrow. “I know Grand Teton wanted you to head up their program.”
Shaking his head, Ben tapped his computer and pulled up a random file. “I’m happy here. This is my home.”
“It is, but I’m calling a load of BS on the happy part. You mean to tell me you’re really happy as pie living all alone in that ramshackle old cabin of your pa’s?”
“I like the peace and quiet. Besides, it’s temporary.”
“You moved out of the house in Kalispell two years ago.”
“I haven’t found the right place.” He jabbed at the keyboard. “But this is my home, Dee. I’ll be damned if I let Brad and Tyson run me out.”