Ends of the Earth

He’d run haphazardly, charging through the wilderness, branches slapping his face, no longer looking for fluttering pieces of red fabric—now red a thick haze over everything, rage fueling his stumbling steps.

Halting, Jason realized he wasn’t sure when it had gotten dark. He lifted his hands and found he still carried the rifle. He stared at it, his numb fingers clenched around wood and metal.

Maggie.

Bright, beautiful Maggie. That he would somehow never see her again had seared through him, leaving a hollow, charred husk behind. His baby.

He’d once seen a piece of cheap art at TJ Maxx, one of those inspirational quotes mass-produced in China in pastel watercolors with a rainbow. It had said something about being a parent was like choosing to have your heart living outside your body. The truth in it had made him smile, because Maggie was absolutely his heart. His everything.

Now he recognized the horror of it. The unending agony of his little girl gone.

Faintly, Jason realized he was screaming, collapsed on his knees in the dirt and leaves, hunched over the rifle. He prayed he’d wake in Philly, alarm blaring, announcing the start of another monotonous day at the factory. He’d do anything, give anything to be back at his dead-end job, with Maggie waiting to be picked up at day camp.

She’d stand on the sidewalk outside the YMCA, a newly created piece of art in her hand—an orange juice can covered in spray-painted macaroni, or a fluttering drawing of mountains and lakes.

Gulping, Jason choked on a sob. His heart was gone, and he wasn’t going to survive.

“No way.”

Ben took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. “I’m going to find him. So get out of my way.” They were in an exam room off the ER since Dee had insisted Ben be checked over. “I got the all clear from the doc. Nothing wrong with me.”

Dee gave him the glare that Ben knew made most men quake in their boots. “Except exhaustion, which can lead to fatal mistakes. The search party will find Jason Kellerman. And that cowardly piece of shit Harlan Brown.”

“I’m going with them.”

“No, you’re sure not. You look like hell.”

Dee had been waiting at the hospital, where Maggie was now safe and sound and in good hands. Ben had to find Jason. “I’m going.”

“They’re already out there. Sun’s coming up any minute. Just hang tight.” She reached for his shoulder, but he dodged.

“I promised Maggie I’d bring her father home. I’m going to keep my word.”

Dee sighed. “Ben, you’ve done more than enough. Kellerman isn’t your responsibility.”

“Of course he is! I should never have fallen asleep. I should have kept watch over him. Now he’s out there alone.”

She stood her ground in the doorway, hands on hips. “You can second guess yourself ’til you’re blue in the face, and it won’t change a damn thing. Fact is, you saved Maggie Kellerman’s life. You’ve already done more for these people than anyone would expect, so just get some rest. They’ll find him.”

“What if they don’t?” The thought of never seeing Jason again was a shard of ice wedged between his ribs. “What if they don’t find him?”

“There’s nothing more you can do right now. Come on, get some rest.” She gently tried to nudge him back to the exam table, but he jerked away, jamming his lower back against a counter corner.

“I can’t just go to sleep knowing he’s out there! Knowing I might be able to find him. I have to find him. He needs me! I need him!” His eyes burned with the threat of tears, and Ben clenched his jaw, trying to breathe. With a fervor he didn’t quite understand, he needed to have Jason in his arms again, safe and whole.

Realization dawned on Dee’s face, and she nodded slowly. “Ah. I see.”

“I know we just met, but I…” It sounded crazy, but the words whirled through him.

I could love him.

He cleared his throat. “Jason’s out there alone, thinking his daughter’s dead. I can’t just sit here. I’m going.”

She nodded. “I’ll drive you back out. There are five armed search teams going at sunrise, along with the choppers again now that that damn fog and rain have finally cleared. Let’s get moving.”

Jason, hang on. Maggie needs you. I think I need you too.

There was dirt in his mouth.

It was gritty on his tongue as Jason coughed and spat, collapsed on the ground, still clutching the rifle beneath him. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been laying there. Pins and needles pricked his hands and arms trapped beneath him.

Shivering, Jason pushed himself to his knees. A woodpecker drilled into a tree faintly, or was that his teeth chattering?

He squeezed his eyes for a second, remembering the warmth of Ben’s strong arms.

No, he had to keep going. Had to…what? Jason blinked in the watery dawn light, thick tree trunks rising around him. It didn’t matter if he found Harlan Brown. Didn’t matter if he killed him. It wouldn’t bring Maggie back. She was gone, swept away into the raging water that cut through hundreds of miles of wilderness.