Playboy Prince

"Feeling abandoned. Worthless. Inferior. Fuck. No wonder you don't believe in love."

"And you do?"

"I do." He turns to me. "Despite all evidence to the contrary."

"Liam, what are you talking about?"

"What if he was gone? Your dad? And you didn't know. Do you think it would be better to keep it that way? Or would you want the truth?"

Is this about his late brother? "I don't know. If he was gone, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't tell my mom to leave him. I couldn't confront him about his behavior."

He nods. "You can't fix your relationship anymore. You lose that possibility forever."

"I didn't think about it that way." I place my hand next to his. "Is that how you feel about Bash?"

"Sometimes. We were good. We fought, sometimes, but it wasn't like with Simon. It was… normal."

"Bossy older siblings who keep secrets are normal."

"I guess you'd know."

"I would."

"Does your kid sister ever listen to you?"

"She wouldn't even let me teach her how to draw her eyeliner."

He chuckles. "What about books?"

I shake my head. "She doesn't like to read."

"So nothing?"

"I taught her how to cook. Since Dad was never around. And Mom was…" Absent, I guess.

"No one ever took care of you?"

"Sometimes." I suck a breath through my teeth. "She wasn't always depressed. Sometimes, she was okay. Every time she came through, she took us to this sandwich shop on the way home from school. She'd order the largest sandwich—it was so huge it was absurd—and she ate like she hadn't eaten a proper meal in months."

"Had she?"

"No. She'd stay in her room and eat chips. These horrible salt and vinegar potato chips. They made the whole room smell sour. I still can't stand them." My nose scrunches at the memory. "They had chips at the shop too, but she always got the barbecue. It was this symbol. Or maybe she was sick of salt and vinegar."

"And that was the only thing that got her out of bed?"

"Maybe." My laugh is sad. "Maybe it was that small. And it wasn't this big gesture. I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

"You are?"

"That your parents weren't there. It's fucked up."

"Thanks."

"My parents were gone, but I had Preston. And Trish. And even fucking Simon. He never hugged me and told me I was doing a great job. But I knew he was there. I knew people would help if I needed it. I… Fuck, Bri, I wish I could make it better."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know you can." His eyes meet mine. "I wish you didn't have to. Not all the time."

"Who else would do it?"

"Someone who loves you."

My stomach flutters.

"Isn't that love? Being a shoulder when someone needs it?"

"You're still asking the wrong person."

"I know. I'm just… tired, I guess."

"Me too."

"You should go to bed."

"You too," I say. "Or at least put on something dry."

"You're already wet."

"Did you just say that with a straight face?"

He half-smiles. "Do you want to make it dirty? 'Cause I will."

"Can I stop you?"

"You can try." He turns back to the view. "Would it be better? With your dad? If you knew?"

"I can't imagine not knowing. Not anymore."

"That's fair."

"If I was completely in the dark and had no idea… maybe. But I always had some inkling. Some sense something was wrong. It's not like The Matrix. It's not a perfect simulation."

"Did you just reference The Matrix?"

"It's a popular film."

"For computer nerds."

"Like my sister."

"Of course."

"She had a huge crush on Trinity too."

"Who didn't?"

"Really?"

"Fuck yeah. That leather get-up? Those fight moves."

"The sex scene in Zion."

"You know the movie pretty well."

I mime zipping my lips.

"Just a supportive sister, huh?"

"That's right."

"What bullshit."

"It's too bad idiotic men ruined the red pill metaphor. It was solid," I say.

"You think about the metaphors."

"Everyone knows about that."

"'Cause you love sci-fi. Briar West, lover of Tolstoy and Wachowski siblings."

"And Keanu Reeves."

"Should we watch John Wick?"

"Do I have to?"

"See." His smile widens. "It's the sci-fi."

"You're an idiot."

"You know my favorite part of the movie?"

"I have no idea."

"Adam had this phase. Watched it all the time. You know computer geeks. They get excited about robots taking over the world."

"I see the appeal."

"He was always talking about the metaphors. But the one I remember was my boy Mouse."

"Who?"

"He's the kid who created the woman in the red dress. The one who distracted Neo in the simulation. He tells Neo ignoring our impulses is as good as being a machine."

"I see why you like him."

"And why Adam just—" He makes a woosh sound as he makes the went over his head gesture. "Not a clue."

"Was he really always like that?"

"You knew him before the accident."

And he was always quiet, in control, hard working. A monk, practically. Except around Bash. Poor guy. He lost his brother in the same accident that nearly killed him.

"He even offers Neo a chance to enjoy a simulation with the woman in the red dress."