His mouth dominated mine, devouring me as though starving for the taste of me. I wasn’t sure anything had ever consumed me so completely as the way he kissed me did.
What am I doing? What are we doing? This can’t be happening.
Cooper’s hand gently grazed my stomach as he pushed my sweater out of the way. I gulped, that being the one thing I was most self-conscious about since having Levi. He trailed his face down my throat, across my covered breasts and down to my abdomen, pressing a soft kiss to my right hip bone. Goosebumps raised on my arms and legs, and the ache between my thighs grew stronger.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my nervousness hidden. Cooper left a trail of kisses and soft nibbles along my waistline and stopped, but only for a moment. I knew what had caught his attention; the orchid tattoo on my left hip bone.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice shaky with apprehension.
Fuck. I’ve just ruined the moment, and I don’t know even know if I’m relieved about it, or disappointed.
But his gaze was animalistic, like a mountain lion staring hungrily at its prey.
“I could taste you...” He softly growled it out as though it were a promise, unbuttoning my jeans while he spoke. He kissed my skin affectionately, and I couldn’t help it, unable to stop myself from yanking nervously at my shirt, pulling it down to cover up the stretch mark his lips had landed upon.
He must have noticed. “Stop,” he breathed against me. “You’re beautiful, Samantha. All of you. You don’t need to hide anything from me. You’re beautiful.” He slid my sweater up further and planted kiss after kiss across my stomach, slowly tugging down my jeans and panties, almost exposing me as he kissed right there on my sensitive skin, merely a breath away from my core.
I can’t do this. I shouldn’t. He can’t...no. No, we can’t.
“Stop. Please, stop.” I yanked at my jeans quickly, struggling to sit up. My hands were shaking and guilt flooded through my veins as I tugged my clothes back into place.
I’d never been with anyone but Ethan. And I just...couldn’t do this with Cooper. He’d watched my son, he was my neighbor, and he was becoming a friend. I didn’t want to ruin that. “I’m sorry, Cooper, I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
Concern flooded his face as he sat up next to me, reaching his hand out to my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Samantha. I didn’t—”
“No, it’s okay. Really. I just can’t...we can’t do that. I think it’s time to go home now.” I cut him off, holding back tears.
“I understand,” he assured me, but it didn’t sound like he did. “I’m really sorry,” he added, leaning closer to me to press a soft kiss to my temple.
He had no reason to be sorry. I did.
I wanted it, wanted him. Oh God, did I want him.
But, I just couldn’t. Yet, here I was, still aching for him and wishing I’d given in.
It’d been the right choice, though...right? To stop. To block the road we’d been heading down before it ended in disaster.
It was the right choice, I told myself. Now, I just wished I wholeheartedly believed it.
CHAPTER SIX
COOPER
It’d been the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep last night, and the first thing to cross my mind when I awoke.
I’m sorry, Cooper, I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.
I’d kissed her, put my hands on her, knowing damn well each second of it could easily be pushing her closer to the edge.
Pushing her away from me, instead of closer.
But I did it, anyway. My mind had become completely engulfed by the flood of primal needs and desires that had capsized the rational part of my brain, and I couldn’t focus on anything but the taste of her against my tongue and the electricity of her skin under my fingertips. There’d been no room left to contemplate anything else beyond that. I’d wanted her more than anything else.
And, because of it, I’d lost her, pushed her over the edge, made her shut down.
I can’t. I’m sorry.
No, I was the one who was sorry. Samantha was vulnerable. She told me what that asshole of an ex-fiancé had put her through, and yet I’d still been thinking with the wrong head, fully engrossed in my own needs when I should have been thinking of hers.