But I do, I open them. And the moment I see his blazing eyes staring down into mine, mixed with the rough grunts and growls emitting from his throat with each thrust, the last shred of my control is demolished.
“Derek!” Every muscle within my body clenches hard as my release rips through me, an explosion of fireworks igniting behind my eyes as I cry out with the passionate agony that overtakes me.
Derek doesn’t let up, fucking me harder until I can feel the twitch of him within me, and hear the change in his breathing against my neck, labored and intense. “Oh...Josie!”
His release follows in the wake of mine, and Derek buries himself within me again and again until my voice is hoarse from crying out his name, and the exertion causes him to collapse onto me, pushing himself to one side.
Neither of us say anything for what seems like a long time. And I’m surprisingly okay with that, because my heart rate needs time to level out, and my mind needs a moment to catch up to the reality of what’s just happened.
When it does, it’s everything I can do to stifle the sharp intake of breath I feel the need to take in.
My god, Josie, you don’t even know his last name.
It’s my first thought, how juvenile and irresponsible I am for doing something like this. Like him. But I quickly follow it up with a much stronger feeling—how absolutely amazing it was.
“You know, I can practically hear the wheels turning in that pretty little head of yours from over here,” Derek says, the amusement evident in his voice. His fingertips trace small, intricate circles across my upper abdomen, and the sensation stirs another wave of longing in me.
My God, what has he done to me? “Sorry,” I say quietly. “I guess I’m just not used to letting the heat of the moment get the best of me.”
Derek's fingers leave my stomach, only to reach up and tilt my chin so that I'm facing him. “I kind of like the Josie I was just introduced to in the heat of the moment,” he admits with a wry grin. “There is no blame or shame in giving yourself over to a moment, or taking something that you want purely for the sake of wanting it.”
Somehow, Derek makes what we’ve just done okay. Beautiful, even. And, in a way, it is. It doesn't seem to matter to him at all—and it matters to me less than I thought it would—that we don't really know each other, let alone love each other.
I'm still contemplating that thought when a shrill ringing sound breaks the silence in the room, and I turn to Derek to see his eyes gazing beyond me, fixed on the pile of clothes beside the couch. “Shit, that's my phone,” he huffs. “I wonder what time it is.”
I have no idea how much time has passed since Derek showed up in this room, but judging by his hasty movements as he wriggles his way off the couch, I'd say that it's later than I think.
Derek manages to retrieve the phone from the pocket of his discarded jeans before it goes to voicemail. His voice rings out through the room, sounding hoarse. “Hello?” He listens, and I visibly see his shoulders relax as the voice on the other end of the line speaks. “Just one second, okay?” He pulls the phone down toward his shoulder blade, pressing the mouthpiece against his skin to block the sound. “Sorry, Josie, but I have to take this. I'll just be a second.”
He doesn't wait for my response. Silently, and without bothering to pull any of his clothes on, Derek walks from one end of the room to the other in all his naked glory, disappearing into the bathroom near the entryway.
The click of the door is just as loud as my beating heart as I try to make sense of what's going on. While I wait, I seemingly begin to come to my senses, and I scoop up my clothes from the floor. As I pull them back on, suddenly not able to bear the thought of him coming back out of that bathroom and seeing me just as naked as he is, my mind begins to conjure up ideas that may or may not be plausible as to why Derek was so insistent on answering that phone call. If it was work, surely it could’ve waited until later? If it was a family member, he would’ve been able to let it go to voicemail, wouldn't he?
All I keep thinking is that there's more to it, and that I've put myself in a situation by going against everything my moral compass says, and by being with him and letting one moment of passion get out of hand.
Not for the first time, I think the same thing that's been crashing around inside my head since the moment I agreed to see him at the pool earlier today. You don't even know him.
I don't have enough time to analyze that truth longer, as the door to the bathroom swings open and Derek comes out. He's at least had the decency to tie a bath towel around his waist, albeit dangerously low on his waist. It’s incredibly sexy.
My voice sounds shaky to my own ears. “Everything okay?”
Derek gives me a crooked grin, nodding. “Everything's fine.” His eyes graze over my clothed body. “Sorry I left you out here alone,” he adds softly, his tongue tracing across his bottom lip. “It couldn't be avoided, but I’m sorry, nonetheless.”
“Who was it?” The question falls from my lips before I realize I've said it out loud, and I immediately despise the neediness it portrays. “I just mean…”
“It's fine,” he replies with a wave of his hand, beginning to pluck his clothing from the floor. He’s just pulling his shirt back over his broad chest when I see the shadow of uncertainty veil over his eyes. “I'm really sorry, Josie, but there's…something I have to do.” His eyes are locked with mine, as though he's trying to decide whether I understand or not. “I have to go,” he adds. “Even though I hope you believe me when I say that I really don't want to.”
My stomach plummets. I feel sick, standing there with tousled hair and the scent of him still lingering on my skin.
His gaze looks sincere, but I know better. God, I should have known better long before now.
“You're leaving?” The question no longer sounds incredulous on my lips, the neediness now replaced by the edge of anger.
Derek is just buttoning up the last button near the collar of his shirt when his eyes meet mine again. “I mean it, I wish I didn't have to. But it's something...important. I don't really have time to go into it right now, but I will. I hope you can understand.”
“Oh, I understand perfectly well.” I run my hands through my hair to smooth it down, an action that I do subconsciously when I'm really nervous.
I don't see him cross the floor, but in an instant Derek is in front of me, his hands on my shoulders, and his head ducked to look into my eyes. “It's obvious that you don't,” he replies. There's no trace of anger or resentment in his voice. “I want to see you again, Josie. I need you to understand that, more than anything.”