The Secrets of Darcy and Elizabeth

“Likewise, Mr. Darcy.”

There was a pause and Darcy realized he must introduce his partner. “Mr. Gardiner. Miss Bennet, allow me to introduce Miss—” His mind was a blank; seeing Elizabeth so unexpectedly had addled his wits. What was her name? He could not remember it at all! Could this get any worse?

“Miss Howard,” his partner supplied and the others returned her greeting. Apparently giving Darcy up as a lost cause, Miss Howard mumbled something about finding her partner for the next dance and hastened off. There was a long pause as Darcy silently berated himself. Say something!

In the weeks since the disastrous proposal, he had envisioned what might occur if he were to encounter Elizabeth. He imagined being angry and cutting – or proud and superior, demonstrating all of the advantages in life she had forsaken in refusing him. Then, later, as he began to acknowledge the truth in some of her reproofs, he fantasized about being amiable and dashing, impressing her with his good qualities. And, always, he had dreamed of kissing her, removing the pins from her hair and… He stopped those thoughts before they went too far.

However, he had never imagined being tongue-tied and awkward.

“

M-Miss Bennet. I must say I did not expect to find you in France.” There, that was an unexceptionable statement.

Elizabeth seemed uneasy and would not meet his eyes, instead looking down to fiddle with a button on one of her gloves. Was that because she wished to be away from here – talking to anyone else but him? “I had no such plans the last time I saw you,” she explained. “I was planning a trip to the Lake District with my Aunt and Uncle, but then unexpected business called my Uncle to France. They generously asked me to accompany them for the voyage.” Miss Bennet’s facility with words had not deserted her, he thought enviously. Perhaps she was not as anxious as he, since she had no concerns about earning his good opinion.

There was a lull in the conversation and he knew he should fill it. “Your parents are in good health?”

“Yes, they are all in excellent health.”

He cast about for another innocuous topic. “How have you liked France?” When Elizabeth glanced up at him and blushed, Darcy realized he was staring her rather warmly, but he could not draw his eyes away from her. He was like a thirsty man in the desert and she was his water. After such a long deprivation, he could not readily relinquish the sight of her.

“I have liked it very well indeed. It is quite different from London – in many ways, big and small. And it is simply enchanting at night.” Elizabeth managed a smile. Was it for him or for the city?

“What brings you to Paris, Mr. Darcy?” asked Mr. Gardiner.

What could he say? I was trying to overcome my despair at never marrying your niece? “My cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, invited me to accompany him and a few of his friends. It was all very sudden. I had no thought of it a week ago.”

“Where are you stay—“ Mr. Gardiner was asking when a young man appeared at Elizabeth’s elbow.

“Miss Bennet, the next set is forming,” The man was fair and slender and carried himself well. His clothing was well-made and very fashionable. Darcy hated him immediately.

Elizabeth appeared flustered, once again not meeting Darcy’s eyes. “Yes, of course. Mr. Darcy, are you acquainted with Lord Lennox?” A chill went through him. He had a rival already!

“No.” The two men gave each other perfunctory bows of greeting. When Lord Lennox took Elizabeth’s hand, Darcy had to fight the impulse to grab her and remove her from his vicinity. Every fiber of his being screamed against allowing the other man to lead her away. Instead, he struggled to keep his tone even as he focused on Elizabeth. “Might I have the honor of the next dance?”

“Certainly,” she smiled, but the smile seemed cold and formal to his eye. Then Lennox whirled her away into the dance, leaving Darcy to wonder about her reaction upon seeing him again. Did she hate the sight of him? Had she already given her heart to another?

As Elizabeth danced with Lord Lennox, her feet remembered the movements, but her mind was occupied with thoughts of Mr. Darcy. She managed to reply distractedly to the conversational forays of her partner, but essayed no topics for discussion herself.

It was beyond belief that he should be here in Paris; she felt stunned and quite unequal to the task of conversing with him. Elizabeth had fully expected to never see Darcy again. His letter had quite altered her opinion of the man and she was ashamed to realize how grievously she had misjudged him; however, encountering him again had resurrected her embarrassment at the words she had flung in his face at Hunsford. She would not have blamed Mr. Darcy if he had wished to discontinue the acquaintance or even pretended not to know her, but he had been all amiability to her and to her uncle, who was in trade and lived in Cheapside. He had denigrated such connections before, but tonight evinced no discomfort.

Lord Lennox took her hand as she twirled in a circle, but her thoughts were abstracted. What had caused such a change in Darcy? Dare she believe he had altered his behavior because of her earlier reproofs? That thought led to an uncomfortable sense of responsibility toward him. Or was it simply that he was all politeness at a ball among his peers? That was most probable. He would likely revert back to his proud behavior when next she saw him.

Why had he not greeted her coldly and politely, as she expected? She glanced over and saw him conversing amiably with both Gardiners. Surely he was as embarrassed about the incident at Hunsford as she. Why, then, would he wish to further the acquaintance? He could simply greet her, chat for a moment, and continue on. Why was he lingering and asking friendly questions?

He had seemed…she could not immediately give a name to his unusual behavior: hesitant and tongue-tied. Although he frequently appeared a little ill-at-ease upon occasions such as this, she had never seen him quite at such a loss for words. Of course they were both unsettled by the unexpected encounter, but it was more than that. Nervous! That was it: he seemed nervous! But why? Surely she did not inspire such anxiety.

If she were honest with herself, she was not sure how she felt at seeing him again. They had parted on such unfriendly terms in Hunsford and she thoroughly despised herself for how wrongly she had judged him, so she was grateful he seemed desirous of reestablishing a friendship. This was an opportunity to show him that her opinion of him had changed – and yet, it was an extremely uncomfortable situation as well.

Elizabeth joined hands with Lennox for a promenade. They had fallen silent, but she could think of nothing to say. Certainly she did not wish for more than friendship with Mr. Darcy. Although she realized she had been incorrect in many of her suppositions about his character, he was still a sometimes proud and disagreeable man. She could not imagine forming a tender regard for him, but perhaps in time they could be friendly acquaintances.

How could I have been so wrong about him? She asked herself for the hundredth time. He offered me his love, his life and I threw it back in his face. It is a wonder he can even bear to speak with me! In addition to guilt, she felt pity for the pain he had undoubtedly experienced. I owe him an apology for my behavior at Hunsford. She glanced over at Darcy, who was smiling and nodding his head at something her aunt had said. I just hope I have an opportunity to deliver it.

With great effort, Darcy tore his gaze away as Elizabeth and Lennox commenced dancing, only then realizing that Mr. Gardiner was still by his side. He struggled to think of something to say – anything, but he was still stunned by Elizabeth’s presence. She is here! In the same room! Part of him exulted while the other part struggled to maintain some semblance of rationality.

He was painfully conscious that Elizabeth’s uncle was one of the relatives he had maligned during his disastrous proposal. Although he was not averse to talking with the older man, he felt the awkwardness of it. The silence stretched too long; he must say something. He turned to Mr. Gardiner, “How long have you been in France?”

With this innocuous beginning, they commenced a conversation. To his relief, Darcy found Elizabeth’s uncle very amiable and of good understanding. Mr. Gardiner introduced Darcy to his wife when she joined them and the couple described their travels so far. They were guests of Mrs. Radnor, who was a longtime friend of theirs from London, a fact which suggested to Darcy that he had misjudged them. Although she spent most of her time in France now, Mrs. Radnor had traveled in the best society in England. Despite his position in trade, Mr. Gardiner was obviously well connected.