“It is!” He said it with such vehemence, she was taken aback. Seeing her reaction, he instantly softened his tone. “It is necessary that I beg your forgiveness – if only for my own peace of mind.”
She hurried to reassure him, alarmed at the depth of feeling he revealed. “Do not permit it to trouble you one minute further. All is forgiven and forgotten. I had long since forgiven you in my heart.” The relieved smile he gave this declaration was almost blinding. Until that moment she would not have believed him capable of such an open expression.
“You are generosity itself,” he said.
Unable to bear the intensity of his gaze, Elizabeth recommenced her stroll and they followed the path in silence for a minute. Elizabeth drank in the beauty along the river – the intense colors of the summer day and the soothing movement of the water. Would she ever see Darcy again, now that he had unburdened himself? Now that she had accepted his apology, would he part ways with her?
Then she remembered his stormy face when he saw Lord Lennox’s carriage the previous day. Was it possible he still loved her? If so, how would she feel? During the last months, she had re-examined her assumptions about his character and reviewed all of their encounters in light of her new understanding, but it had never occurred to her that he would renew his addresses. No, surely my rebukes at Hunsford destroyed whatever affection he had for me!
Abruptly Darcy stopped walking and swiveled to face her. “Miss Bennet,” his words poured out in a rush. “I would beg of you an opportunity to re-commence our acquaintance, given what we now understand about each other. I would like a new beginning, putting pride and prejudice behind us.” Elizabeth was surprised at his words and attempted to decipher his agitated manner. He is nervous again. Nervous about me!
The thought struck her forcefully. How could she, Elizabeth Bennet from Longbourn, make a man like him nervous? He must still care for her! It was the only possible interpretation. He must be violently in love with her to consider renewing his attentions after such a disastrous proposal. This realization sent a thrill through her entire body, recognizing how he honored her with attentions, now that she knew that he was not only wealthy, but also intelligent and honorable. But could she reciprocate those feelings? Once the answer to that question had been a definite “no.” Now she was not quite so certain, but she did know she was not prepared to say “yes.”
Darcy waited in suspense for Elizabeth’s answer. It had required all his courage to even ask the question. Now he felt so vulnerable to her disapproval, but he had to discover if he had a hope of winning her. That would be sufficient for now: just a shred of hope. He dared a glimpse of her face, which was serious and thoughtful, betraying no hint of how she would answer his question. The uncertainty was agony, creating a sense that he was completely at her mercy and engendering a sense of helplessness that was unfamiliar – and uncomfortable.
Fear gripped him when he thought of her possible refusal. She was honorable, he knew. If she thought he could never succeed with her, she would not accept friendship. If she refused him now he would know there was no hope and there would never be any hope that she would return his affections. Then he would have to leave Paris at once and – go where? Scotland perhaps. As far away from her as possible. But even as the thought occurred to him, he knew nowhere would be far enough. Nor would there ever be enough time to recover from Elizabeth.
As he regarded her, she tilted her head slightly to one side in a way that was utterly bewitching. He knew she was unaware of the effect she had on him, but her every movement, every glance and sigh was a delight.
Elizabeth realized her long silence was causing anxiety for Mr. Darcy. He was frowning and glaring at the ground, but quite visibly restrained himself from hurrying her response and she found herself admiring his self-control. “I would like a new beginning,” she finally said. Relief flooded his face and he relaxed visibly. “However,” she continued. His eyes rose sharply to her face. “I cannot promise I could ever reciprocate any deeper sentiment than friendship.”
Darcy silently nodded his understanding of this caveat. “Thank you for granting me another chance.” Deeply felt emotion colored his voice. “Friendship is all I ask – for the present.”
She raised her eyebrows at that last statement. Sometimes his candor was unnerving. They resumed walking, but Darcy stopped again almost immediately. Taking a few steps away from her, he made a little bow. “I am Fitzwilliam Darcy, Miss, pleased to make your acquaintance.”
She laughed at his charade and made a small curtsey. “I am Elizabeth Bennet. It is a pleasure to meet you. I believe you are from England, as am I. Shall we walk?” Smiling at her jest, he offered her his arm, which she took without reluctance.
After a few minutes of walking in silence, Elizabeth realized her companion was quite agitated once more. Frowning deeply, he was glaring at the path before them. “Mr. Darcy, is something else is making you unhappy?”
At first she thought he would not say anything, but then he spoke – in hesitant tones that suggested the words were dragged out of him. “Please tell me….I must know if you have reached some kind of…understanding with Lord Lennox. I know I do not have the right to ask, but—”
Her quick reaction forestalled his words. “Lord Lennox? No!” The very shock in her face seemed to reassure him. “Indeed, I have no reason to believe he is serious in his attentions to me. While it is true that he has visited almost every day, I think it is mostly because he is bored with Paris.”
“I think you underestimate yourself, Miss Bennet.” He was gazing at her intently; clearly he never intended to create a fiction that friendship was all he wanted from her. “I can think of many reasons why a man like him might enjoy your company.”
“Perhaps you should share them with him when next you meet,” she suggested archly. “Then he might view me with greater seriousness of purpose.”
Darcy exhaled a laugh. “That would be contrary to my self-interests.”
Elizabeth laughed; it was lovely to see these glimpses of his sense of humor. However, as they resumed walking, she felt more sober, realizing that he did intend to renew his addresses to her – an eventuality she had hardly thought possible. Still, Mr. Darcy was far more relaxed, and she was pleased she had been able to bring him some small measure of peace. If the price of his peace was slight discomfort on her part, it was fitting penance for her earlier misjudgment of him.
After a few more minutes of strolling, Elizabeth noticed the height of the sun and realized it was close to noon. She turned to Mr. Darcy: “We have walked a long way. Perhaps we should turn back and find my aunt.”
As the three of them were strolling back to Mrs. Radnor’s house, Mrs. Gardiner broached the subject of their upcoming trip to Rouen. Elizabeth felt a pang of regret at the thought of leaving Paris in only three days since there were still many sights she had not seen. And, now that she and Mr. Darcy had made their peace, she actually felt pleasure at the thought of spending more time with him. She chastised herself immediately for these regrets. Her aunt and uncle had been very kind in bringing her to Paris; she should not resent the exigencies of their schedule.
Mrs. Gardiner was regarding Elizabeth closely. “It does seem a shame to remove you from Paris after so brief a visit.”
“It is fine, Aunt.”
“Well, it occurred to me that Mrs. Radnor might host you at her house while we are away. Your uncle’s business will bring us back to Paris in a week. We could collect you then.”
Elizabeth’s heart sang with pleasure at this suggestion, but she felt the need to exercise caution. “I have to admit, I would be pleased to pass additional time here. However, I am loath to impose on Mrs. Radnor.”
“I will ask her, but I do not think it would be an imposition. She enjoys your company.” Mrs. Gardiner’s voice was brisk as she strode on ahead. Darcy had said nothing during this exchange, but Elizabeth glanced over at him just in time to see a faint smile grace his features.
Everything was soon settled with Mrs. Radnor, who was delighted to have Elizabeth remain and promised the Gardiners that she and her husband would take excellent care of their niece. The next day, Elizabeth visited some shops with her Aunt, marveling at the quality of the cloth and trims that could be had throughout Paris. When they returned they found Mr. Darcy waiting. His visit was brief, but pleasant.
The following day he appeared at Radnor House early, bearing flowers for Elizabeth, and suggested a visit to the Louvre. As the group wandered through galleries of fabulous art, Elizabeth noticed that her aunt and uncle lagged behind, granting her some privacy to talk with Mr. Darcy. They were not blind. They had recognized his partiality for her – and they must have approved of him or they would not have granted the two such leeway.