The Secrets of Darcy and Elizabeth

“Why?” Elizabeth was genuinely shocked.

“Because it is so new. Because I have spent so much time convinced of your indifference.” Darcy struggled to articulate thoughts that he recognized only now. “I have a difficult time believing that this is real, that it will last. You held such a bad opinion of me for so long; I fear you will change your mind again. Such doubts result in behavior that confirms your bad opinion. I am so sorry.”

“Oh, William…” His admission of insecurity did more to quell her anger than all of his fury had. She was now heartily ashamed of her display of temper. I should have understood what was underlying his behavior. And, she realized, her angry rejection of him in the ballroom had exposed both of them to possible repercussions. What if someone guesses the truth? At least this end of the terrace was des

erted, she reassured herself; no one could have overheard their conversation.

“I am sorry too,” she said softly. “I should have understood why you reacted as you did. This is a difficult situation. It is taking its toll on both of us.”

“Yes,” his voice was hoarse. “I never imagined how hard it would be to be away from you – or to be near you and not permitted to touch—“

“You can touch me now. There is nobody who will see,” she suggested impishly.

“You minx!” He chuckled. “Does this mean our argument is over?”

She nodded slowly and seductively, causing Darcy to pull her to him roughly. Instantly he was raining kisses on her lips, her neck, her shoulders. Every touch, every kiss felt like it left a trail of fire on her skin. Then his hands rose to explore her back, caressing her curves and pulling her more tightly against him. She moaned as he moved one hand to cup her breast.

Darcy was wondering what could be accomplished if he pulled her deeper into the shadows or even into the bushes when they heard voices approaching. As he reluctantly pulled away from Elizabeth, she turned away to straighten her clothing. Meanwhile, he stepped up to the terrace’s railing as if he were simply enjoying the night air – knowing that merely being alone with Elizabeth would be enough to compromise her in some eyes.

He was relieved to see that the approaching figures were Fitzwilliam and an army friend of his, Lieutenant Preston. He knew Fitzwilliam would never reveal any possible improprieties or start rumors. The two men were talking rather loudly and laughing; Darcy wondered how much they had had to drink. “Hello, gentlemen!” He greeted them as they approached.

“So this is where you went,” Fitzwilliam exclaimed, scrutinizing him rather sharply. “My mother was searching for you.”

Darcy realized that he had been away from the ballroom longer than he had intended. His very absence could cause rumors, especially if people realized that Elizabeth was missing as well. He had taken such care to protect her reputation; he could not give rise to speculation now.

“Hello, Miss Bennet,” Fitzwilliam said when Elizabeth emerged from the shadows. “Lovely night isn’t it?” He did not seem at all surprised to find her here. Well, he might have suspected, knowing of Darcy’s interest in her. Darcy hoped that nothing about Elizabeth’s appearance revealed their activities.

“Yes, neither too hot nor too cold,” Elizabeth replied blandly. “An ideal night for a ball.” Her face did show a slight blush of embarrassment.

Fitzwilliam eyed Darcy again. “You really should be getting back into the ballroom. My mother will be livid. And will send servants seeking you out.” Darcy noted the unspoken warning in his cousin’s words. “We can escort Miss Bennet back when she is has finished enjoying the night air.” Darcy was about to protest when he realized that his cousin was giving him an opportunity to belie any suspicions of a dalliance with Elizabeth. If she returned in the company of two soldiers, no one would suspect she had had a rendezvous with Darcy.

He bowed to the inevitable. “Yes, I should go. Miss Bennet. Gentlemen.” He bowed to each in turn and left. But every step that took him farther from Elizabeth tugged at his heart.

The next morning Darcy was working in his study. The prolonged sojourn in France had left him sadly behind on his work for his estate. As he read his correspondence he realized he would need to visit Pemberley soon. A footman came in to announce “Colonel Fitzwilliam, sir,” even though Fitzwilliam was only steps behind him. Richard threw himself into a chair as the footman closed the study door.

“Good morning, Richard. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Darcy glanced up from his paperwork and took in Richard’s appearance for the first time. His cousin had a strange expression on his face, he was flushed, but his lips were pressed together in a thin white line. He was angry! Darcy tried to think of the last time he had seen this usually genial man so furious. Was it something Aunt Alice had done?

“How could you?” Fitzwilliam spat at him. He launched himself out of the chair and started pacing. “How could you impose yourself on her like that?”

Chapter 10

Darcy was bewildered. “On who?”

“Do not play the innocent with me! Miss Bennet! I saw you on the terrace with her last night.” Richard was practically shouting, leaning over Darcy’s desk.

Damn! Darcy thought with a sinking heart. This will not be an easy conversation. “Saw but not heard?” He asked his cousin.

“I had no need to hear! It was obvious what was happening!” Fitzwilliam resumed pacing, agitation showing in every line of his body.

Darcy struggled to recall how he and Elizabeth had behaved as opposed to what they had said. At first he had attempted to embrace her and she had shrugged him off – several times. He had to admit it would appear potentially damning. “We had an argument—” he started to explain, but Fitzwilliam cut him off.

“That much was plain! I could see that she did not desire your attentions, but you imposed yourself on her again and again – until she finally acquiesced.”

Now Darcy could understand what Fitzwilliam thought had happened, but found his ire rising as well. “That is not what—”

Fitzwilliam had not finished. “And I could see that last night was not the first time this has happened. She knew she was in an untenable position and had to give you wanted eventually. What did you do to her? Is she accepting your ‘favors’ in exchange for your silence about how much you compromised her reputation in France? Or, did she agree to become your mistress because she knew she was too compromised to be anyone’s wife?”

“I did not—”