“These are naked women, right?”
“Beautiful women, Loomis.”
“I’ll come out in thirty minutes.”
“That’s my man,” I said.
Loomis cleaned up before leaving the hotel. I wasn’t sure it was an improvement. He wore a red plaid polyester jacket, and he used so much gel on his hair it looked like he’d just stepped out of a shower and hadn’t dried his head.
He hopped in the Yugo and said, “Boy, nobody’d figure you for a detective in this thing, huh?” I opened the glove box and got out the small ear pieces and lapel microphones that I brought from the office.
“We’ll use these to communicate while you’re inside and I’m outside.” Loomis nodded, his eyes fixed on them. I took an earpiece and fitted it to him. My fingers came in contact with the hair above his ears and were instantly slippery. I looked out the side window past Loomis and said, “Hey, is that Elvis?”
Loomis twisted around to look and I wiped my hands on the back of his plaid jacket. “Nahh,” I said, “Don’t guess it was the King.” Loomis turned to face me and I put the lapel mike on his shirt, making sure to put it where the jacket wouldn’t rub across the face of the mike and make loud scratching noises in my ear. When I was satisfied, I filled him in on what I wanted him to say, gave him three hundred dollars and a plain manila envelope to keep in his jacket pocket. “You ready?” I asked.
“I’ve never seen a live naked woman,” he said. “I can hardly wait.”
**
I parked behind a Lincoln near the Caspian Diamond’s entrance and went over it one more time with Loomis, who was itching to get out the door. “I’ll be able to hear everything you say and everything said to you. I can talk to you through the earpiece so we can communicate just like we are now.”
“I got it. I’m ready.”
“Okay, go get ‘em,” I said.
I could hear Loomis breathing as he walked inside. Jennifer Lopez was singing her newest song and I could hear the occasional clinks of glasses and other muted sounds. After several seconds the music sounded the same. “Loomis, are you standing?”
“Uh, yeah. She’s beautiful.”
“Find a table by the stage so you can talk to the women when they go up to dance.”
I heard some shuffling and the sound of something bumping, then a voice said, “Watch where you’re going. You can stare at the girls after you sit down.”
Loomis mumbled an apology and I heard him sit down. A waitress came over and he ordered a drink. A Zombie. When the song ended Loomis hissed, “She’s coming this way!”
“Just do like we planned.” I rubbed my forehead.
I heard Loomis say, “Uhh, hey.”
A woman’s voice said, “Hi, did you enjoy the performance?”
“Oh yeah,” Loomis sounded excited, “Do you practice on a pole like that or is it just something natural?”
“I practice.”
The waitress brought the Zombie and I heard Loomis gulp three or four times and say, “I’ll have another one, and could you bring something for the lady?”
The woman ordered a Seven and Seven. Loomis said, “You cold? I ask cause your nipples are real hard. Mine get like that when I rub ice cubes on them.”
“Loomis!” I said into the mike.
I heard a clatter, then the woman said, “Did something bite you?”
Loomis said, “Uhh...”
“Tell her it’s an old war wound that acts up.”
He told her and I heard the waitress return and put down their drinks. I heard Loomis glug three times and say, “I’ll take another one.”