I heard paper being unfolded and then Davester, God bless him, said, “Got it right here: the Le Montrose, 900 Hammond St., just a couple of blocks south of Sunset. We go to the meeting room.” I heard the paper fold and then Davester leaned forward to whisper, which made me have to lean my head back so far I could see the ceiling.
But it was enough. Davester said, “And our password is…” He paused for dramatic effect, “TBA. It’s secret code for The Bay Auditions. You don’t say that, you don’t get in.”
They high-fived each other and Davester said, “And man, that’s cool.”
Bob-O said, “Yeah, Mike-O always does the cool stuff.”
Mike-O.
I waited for more but there was a sudden silence. I leaned my head further back but neither of the actors was talking. I took a quick look at Hondo. He smiled like he was enjoying something.
Bob-O deepened his voice to make it more threatening, “Mister, this is a private conversation.”
I twisted around to face them. I smiled and stuck out my hand. I said, “Hi fellows, I’m Rafe McCawley, Professor Rafe McCawley, and this,” I pointed to Hondo, “is Professor Evelyn Johnson.” I pronounced Evelyn as Ev-lin, but Hondo’s eyebrows rose up a little anyhow. “We’re geologists, work for the LA Basin Geologist and Earthquake Prevention Organization,” I pointed up at the ceiling, “See that nano-quake frequency indication up there, Professor?”
Hondo wasn’t playing along. He just looked at me. I turned back to my audience, “That, men, is from the aftershock that went through this area last week.”
Dave-O said, “We had an aftershock? When was the quake?”
“Smart fellow. Are you a geologist too?”
“No, I’m an actor.”
“Well, I’ll continue then. These nano-quake indicators are throughout the area, as you can imagine, but to read them, well, our new research has shown us that ceilings, yes ceilings, may be the breakthrough we’ve been searching for in earthquake prediction.” I patted Bob-O’s arm and said, “You fellows will be happy to know that you-we are sitting on the right side of the restaurant in case of a major quake, which could occur any second by the way.”
“What do you mean we’re sitting on the right side?”
I pointed at the ceiling and said, “This is my crystal ball and it tells me,” I nodded at the other side, “That half of the restaurant is toast. In the next major quake, it will drop into the ocean. But our side, the good side, will suddenly have the best ocean view in Southern California and you can watch all those other patrons surf to Tahiti.”
I leaned closer and said in my most serious tone, “Whatever you do, when you come to The Mongolian, never, ever sit on that side. I’m saving your lives here.”
Bob-O said, “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow back at ya,” I said.
“Thank you Professor McCawley,” Bob-O said.
Dave-O said, “Yeah, thanks a lot. And thank you too, Professor Johnson.”
They left, but not before shaking our hands like we were wealthy benefactors. When they were gone Hondo said, “You pulled those names from a Michael Bay movie.”
“Pearl Harbor.”
“Uh-huh. Any particular reason you named me after Kate Beckinsale’s nurse and you used Ben Affleck’s hero for yourself?”
“It was all I could think of at the time, and you don’t look anything like Ben Affleck.”
“Hah, neither do you, and since it seems to have escaped your attention, I don’t look like Kate Beckinsale either.”
“Point taken,” I studied his face for a long second, “Then again, there’s something about the eyes…”
Hondo grinned, “At least you got us a way into the audition. That was good.”
“Thank you. This could be our big break.” I finished my plate and rose from the seat.
“Where are you going?”
“Seconds. It’s a buffet.”