I’m doing what I’ve done for years; hiding my pain behind anger. The thing is I am angry. I’m angry at Brittany for constantly screwing up my life, even though I told her I forgave her before she died. She seemed to need that and at the time, I truly did. I’m angry at Dahlia for walking away instead of staying and facing me—calling me on what she’d overheard. I’m fucking’ heartbroken that she’s pregnant by someone else.
I’d planned a life with her and she ran, straight into the arms of another man. So yeah, I’m fuckin’ pissed. That is, until I close my eyes and my heart shatters all over again. I still miss her. I still love her. She’s the only woman I want.
“How are Mom and Dad?” I ask, wanting to deflect the talk I know is seconds from coming out of his mouth.
“They’re fine, which you’d know if you bothered to visit or didn’t disappear when you spot Mom arriving here. You have to stop avoiding us.”
“Oh, that’s great coming from you.”
His jaw flexes. Yeah, I’ve hit a nerve but he has no right to accuse me of doing the same thing he did once he was back on his feet.
“You’re my brother . . . so I’m going to forget that dig.”
He backs away and sits at the bar.
Sighing, I grab us both a longneck from the fridge at the back of the bar.
As I pop them open, I pass him one before walking around the bar to sit beside him.
“We’re two sorry assholes,” I comment, as I put the longneck to my mouth and guzzle most of it down.
“Speak for yourself . . . asshole.”
I start laughing and end up coughing and spluttering when I choke on the beer.
Jumping up, Jace thumps me on the back.
“So not helping.”
The coughing fit slowly stops, but the smirk is still on Jace’s face.
“You feeling better?”
I sober at his question, and after giving it some thought, I answer. “I’m not sure I’ll ever feel better. I thought she was the one, and right now, more than missing her every second, I can’t get the fact that she’s pregnant out of my head. It’s playing over and over as though it’s on repeat.”
I slump back down next to him.
Jace frowns. “Something has been bothering me since you said that.”
“What?”
“How pregnant is she?”
“I don’t know, but she was out here.” I stick my hands out in front of my stomach. “Why?”
He won’t meet my eyes. “Just curious.”
I stare at him, trying to see inside his thoughts. Jace never asks a ‘just curious’ question without there being something more behind his words. If I know my brother, he has no plans to share until he’s good and ready.
“I think you should go back to Portsmouth, and talk to Dahlia this time.” He gulps his beer. “You need to find out who the guy is, because until you do, you won’t know whether you screwed up and put your own take on what you saw, or whether there is truth in what you saw.”
It’s been a few weeks since I was in Portsmouth and although it kills me, seeing her happy with someone else, all I want is for her to be happy. Every day, I die a little bit more knowing that she’s obviously found what she’s looking for with someone else. And knowing he’s touching her, feeling her need, makes me so angry with jealousy that I don’t know what the fuck to do with my aggression.
Hearing the door opening behind me, I turn to inform whomever it is that the bar is closed, but the words leave me in a whoosh of air when Dahlia walks through.
“Looks like you won’t need to go and find her,” Jace mumbles under his breath and pushes away from the bar.
He nudges me to my feet, but as Dahlia walks away from the door, the guy I saw on the beach with her follows behind her.