Sinful (Bad Boy Rockers 5)

Before the dust could settle, Richard had put a ring on my finger. He hadn’t asked and I accepted it without even saying ‘yes’. I found it was easier to just go along with him at the time. Now, I wish I hadn’t been so lost in my grief to allow him to take advantage of the situation because my answer would have been no.

There is no love between us, at least on my part. Sometimes I wonder about his feelings for me. He’s possessive whenever we go anywhere together. He always keeps me close and throws everyone who dares to look in my direction a glare that means business.

Since the ring was put on my finger, Richard hasn’t touched me sexually and, although I’m relieved he hasn’t tried, I’m surprised. His explanation when he first stopped inviting me to stay over was that he wanted to wait until we were married. I accepted this but as time has gone on, I’m not sure I believe him.

If I need to talk, or if something around the house needs fixing, then he’s always here. The sad thing is that I don’t feel anything other than friendship toward him. It also begs the question about what I’m going to do. I can’t stay engaged to a man I don’t love—a man I don’t want to share my life with in that way—but I don’t want to hurt him either.

With a heavy sigh, I pour another mug of coffee and sneak another warm cookie from the rack before I curl into my favorite chair in the living room.

Later today, I’ll be visiting the children’s home and want to take them some homemade treats. I’ve been volunteering at the home for about two years to give me something to do with my spare time, especially in the summer. I love all the kids I work with but I have my favorite children, one of whom is a pixie of a child named Tammy, who is four. She’s a sweet little girl, and when she sees me, her eyes always light up, even though her face doesn’t show any emotion. She always has her thumb in her mouth while she clutches a bunny the officer who’d brought her in had given her. Tammy makes me want to wrap her up in my arms and take her home with me.

Which brings my mind back to Jace. I say back because he’s always on my mind, which isn’t always convenient. I’ve been missing him since the softball lessons stopped while summer vacation is happening. Unfortunately, not a day has gone by where I haven’t wondered what he’s up to, or who he’s up to it with. My heart thuds in my chest when I imagine him with another woman because I want him to be with me.

Sad, I know.

His six-foot, muscular frame towers over me and it always causes ripples of desire to start in my belly when he greets me at the field. He makes me feel as though he needs a connection to me just like I do to him. When we are together, all it takes is his smile and then I’m transfixed and forget everything but him. He always has a trimmed scruff covering his lower face, which draws my attention to his red lips. He works out, making no secret of the fact, and his body drives me to distraction…even when he isn’t with me, as I think about the hard plains I can see through his shirt. He has a bulging upper body and I’ve spent plenty a night dreaming, imagining those thick arms wrapped around me. He has a mighty fine ass as well, which I know he’s caught me looking at a time or two…or three.

In the beginning, I’d felt that he was self-conscious with me because of his prosthesis. He’d eventually settled after a few lessons, but sometimes a darkness seemed to hang over him and all I wanted to do was wrap him up in my arms, kiss his brow, and tell him everything would be okay. Of course I didn’t do that, but the urge to do so was strong.

Although Uncle Ned had been the one to fix me up with Jace as the softball coach for my class, he refuses to tell me how Jace was injured. I know it was in the line of duty, but my uncle refuses to be more specific. He’s known Jace for a long time, which begs the question as to why we’ve never met before. Our age difference could have something to do with that, and the more I think about it, the more that reason seems plausible. I would have been around ten when their friendship started, so maybe we have met. Although, I’m sure I would have remembered that smile.

Needing to catch a glimpse of Jace, I’m going to bake a cake and take it into my uncle’s office before I head over to the children’s home. It’s risky, considering that Richard starts his new job at the same station today as a deputy.

With a bit of luck, Richard will be out on patrol when I arrive, so I’ll get to talk to my uncle alone and maybe discover Jace’s whereabouts.

The more I think about Jace, the more I realize that’s what I’m going to do, no matter how it will look. I just need to see him, and maybe, ask Jace for coffee. I only hope the opportunity arises.

Chapter Two

Jace

Climbing out of my truck at the sheriff’s station has me catching my breath. The heat of the morning is already past the temperature where I’d normally be stripped down to my cargo shorts and shirt, and I’m sweltering in my attire. Today was not a casual day and I’m in pants, button-down and tie. I can’t help wondering what I’m needed for.

Reaching the door to the building, I sigh in relief when the air conditioning hits me. Trying to suppress the need to loosen my tie, I fail miserably and end up popping the top two buttons as the noose is shoved into my pocket.

As I approach, Anita, the deputy working the front desk, looks up and smiles as though I’ve just made her day. Returning her smile, I remove my jacket and hear her sigh.

Anita tells everyone she’s thirty-nine, when in truth, she’s fifty-five, although she doesn’t look her age. She’s never missed a scheduled day of work that I can ever remember.

“You’re looking mighty fine this morning, Jace Stone.” Anita crosses her arms under her ample chest and grins.

“As do you.” I grin.

Anita buzzes me in and I move around to her side and place a kiss to her cheek before getting quickly out of her way.

She swats at me. “Now you behave yourself, young man.” Giving me a stern look, she adds, “You need to be flirting with a young lady instead of this older one.”

Anita has tried to fix me up a time or two, which is one of the reasons why I went on the date with Robyn. Anita had set us up and I have to admit that I did like her…just not the way I should have. Robyn was attractive and had a great sense of humor, but sadly, she wasn’t Savannah. I find that I have no interest in anyone but the very woman herself.

I wink at Anita and chuckle when she raises a startled brow. “I’d much rather be flirting with you.”

I lean against the desk, knowing she will be affronted if I don’t stay for a few more minutes. But now that she’s really looking at me, I think it’s wiser to move on.

“I’m safe so you flirt with me.” She frowns. “I worry about you, Jace. You’re a handsom

e, young man with a lot going for you. You need a nice, young woman to settle down with. A woman who can give you little Jaces, one who can give you sleepless nights—instead of the other reason you have sleepless nights.”

As the blush creeps up my cheeks, it hits me that she isn’t referring to my X-rated dreams of Savannah, but the nightmares that started five years ago.