Storming to the bathroom, I quickly go through with my morning routine, which includes a long shower to scrub him from my skin. Two can play at this game and I’ve damn well had enough.
Our days when we are together have been amazing, along with our evenings, so why does he always make me feel used? As though he’s only wanting me for one thing, and one thing only.
Feeling my tears threatening again, I quickly dry, and dress in sweats and a T-shirt. Today we were supposed to be going over to Kix for Sunday lunch.
Ryder had been so excited about it that we couldn’t have refused for anything. Jace had been amused at his brother’s excitement until I’d elbowed him in the stomach. He’d glanced at me with a frown before he’d winked at me and continued ribbing Ryder. Brothers!
Everything comes back to Jace again.
Ugh!
Heading into the kitchen, I get the coffee going and place two pieces of whole-wheat toast into the toaster oven.
I’m not sure at what point Jace will be back, even though he did say he’d bring breakfast. Not sure what his idea of time or food is, so for now I’m going to stick with my usual and have toast with butter and strawberry jelly.
Hearing a vehicle coming down my street, I freeze and wait with my heart in my throat…and it stops.
So he’s back.
Wanting to appear calm and as though I’m not really going to bits inside, I continue making my breakfast. I pour the coffee, adding creamer and a pinch of sugar, and follow this with the toast.
By the time I hear a tentative knock on the front door, my breakfast is prepared and ready to eat on the kitchen table.
Indifference is what I need, but I’m not sure I’m going to get there when my heart is hurting.
He obviously has his reasons for not wanting to stay wi
th me, but I wish he’d talk and maybe we can work out whatever is bothering him. Instead, him leaving hurts…a lot.
Opening the front door, Jace has a grin plastered on his face and shows me the tray of coffee from Starbucks along with a bag that has a delicious smell coming from it. His smile slips though when I refuse to meet his eyes or join in his obvious good morning.
“Come in,” I invite, but head back to the kitchen as soon as the words leave my mouth.
I hear the front door lock into place as I sit at the table, sipping from my cup of coffee. The best drink of the day.
“Oh, you already have breakfast.” He doesn’t sound too happy as he places his offering on the table before joining me.
“I enjoy my toast and coffee in the mornings.” I shrug, and finally meet his eyes.
Jace arrived with a smile on his face but now his jaw is pulled tight and his eyes are shadowed. He knows I’m not impressed—well, good!
I’ve had enough and I’m not going to put up with it anymore, at least without any explanation, which I think I deserve. Placing my toast back on my plate, I meet his gaze, and ask, “Did you leave as soon as I fell asleep?” I need to make sure first.
He glances to the back window and sighs before looking at me. “Yes.”
“I see.”
“Savannah, you—”
“Why do you refuse to stay all night with me?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Last night was amazing, the other nights were amazing, but last night you held me while I fell asleep. Have you any idea how much it hurt me when I woke up alone, only to realize that you probably left long before then?”
Jace rests his elbows on the table and places his head in his hands, letting it drop further, until he’s sliding his fingers through his short hair.
The quiet in the kitchen is almost unnerving and starting to become uncomfortable, when he lifts his head and meets my gaze.