Love in Surrender (De La Fuente Family 8)

1

Blake

Swallowing back the hurt I feel listening to Violet speak about her date with Deacon, I try to concentrate on the other conversations going on around the table…except…I can’t. My attention as always is centered on Violet.

Violet came into my life at my lowest point and swept into my heart like a tornado. She’s the only woman I see, and I care about her enough to push her away, toward someone else, who can offer her a life with financial and physical security.

I know that she’s hurt because of my callous words on the subject of her dating, I do feel guilty, but she isn’t the only one. I hurt. I hurt so fucking much that it’s difficult to carry on.

Beneath the table, my sister slips her hand over mine and gives it a squeeze before prying my fist open, forcing me to accept her hand fully into mine.

I meet her gaze and quickly look away, but I accept the lifeline she’s offered and hold on tight.

Everyone knows why I’m pushing Violet away and I wish they’d accept my decision. Instead they look on, insistent that I let her in.

I’m not willing to pull Violet down with me. She deserves a life with a man who can give her the world, not a man who may never walk again, never work another day.

If it weren’t for my sister being part of this family, then I would have made my way back home, figured things out for myself.

This new family is almost over bearing, but I know that all they want to do is help. No matter how many times I tell myself to let them, I always shut them down. I’ve done everything for Felicity and I since our parents were killed so many years before, but things changed when she married into the De La Fuente family. I don’t begrudge her that because I know her husband, Kasey, would and does, do everything he can to make her happy. Just like she does for him.

I feel as though I’m floundering with no true direction and I can’t seem to stop hurting Violet.

Perhaps I do need to head home to my apartment even though I’m not sure how the hell I’d manage to maneuver up and down the stairs all the damn time.

Home is with Violet.

I hate my conscience sometimes.

Closing my eyes, I ignore the celebration meal for Andie and try to dispel my anger at the situation I’ve found myself in.

My life fell apart because of the accident, and I still have no idea how I’m supposed to pick up the pieces. I don’t know if I can. Not alone anyway.

I’m not going to lie to myself, without Kasey, Felicity, and Violet, I wouldn’t be as healthy as I am.

It just tears me apart living with the woman that I’ve fallen in love with, knowing that I may never be the man she deserves.

That brings me back to what I told her earlier. I’m not sure I have enough years left to forget the look on her face when I suggested she date. She’d looked heartbroken.

No words have been exchanged between us since then and I don’t know how long the silence is going to last considering we’re sharing a two bedroom suite for one more night.

Sighing, I release my sister’s hand and give her a wry smile. “Thanks.”

She rolls her eyes, and leaning in whispers, “One of these days you’re going to wake up and wonder why you were such a jerk.”

My eyes narrow as she continues, “I love you, and so does the woman that you’re ignoring.” She leans in and kisses my cheek. “Don’t let your food go cold.”

I smile and tell her, “You’re going to make an amazing Mom, Felicity.”

Tears gather in her eyes as she fights them back. One slips down her delicate cheek, which I capture. “I love you too, Sis. Just please don’t cry otherwise your husband will want to punch me.”

She giggles. “No he won’t.”

“That’s debatable,” Kasey grumbles from beside her.

Ignoring Kasey, I nod toward her plate of food. “Let’s eat.”

“You men in my life are beyond annoying with all of the nagging,” she moans.

“The men in your life love you,” Kasey points out. “Which is why we’re always telling you to eat.” He tilts her face to him and plants a kiss to her lips. “I need you to stay healthy.”

I tune them out and finally glance across the table, finding Violet’s gaze already fixed on me. My eyes caress over her pale features, down to her untouched plate of food. When I finally lift my eyes and meet hers, I see tears swimming, unshed on her lashes, and my resolve begins to crack.

2

Violet

Fuming, I slam around my bedroom and silently curse at the jerk who is probably sound asleep next door in his bedroom. I need a psychological evaluation for even suggesting that we share a two-bedroom suite. I only suggested the idea because it worked out fifty dollars cheaper to do so and I would be close at hand if he needed me. Next time, if there is to even be a next time, I need to remember to keep my mouth shut. Let him struggle. He’d soon miss me then!

Fighting with my clothes, I stumble into the bathroom and toss the garments on the floor until I’m completely naked. I’d been heartbroken earlier in the evening when he’d insisted I started dating and not to hold back on his account. I was in love with the jerk and he wanted me to date other men.

He had no clue what he’d unleashed with those hurtful words.

That man is stubborn to the core and even though I’m not blind to the fact that he’s hurting. He’s hurt me too many times to count recently and I’m done.

It’s my turn to hit back and that’s what I’m going to do. For once, I want him to know exactly how much it hurts when he disregards me.

Maybe for some reason it won’t hurt him as much as it does me. I mean for that to happen he’d have to have real feelings for me, which I’m sure he doesn’t.

At one stage I’d thought he was falling in love with me, like I was him, but that soon changed. One minute we’d be friends, enjoying spending time together, and the next, he’d pushed me away and we’ve never been the same. I hate that and I miss him. I miss being able to talk to him. I miss the feel of him pressed against me as we’d fal