Diego’s mouth leaves mine before he briefly holds my gaze before reclaiming my lips, crushing me to him.
My whole body is awash with excitement and all I can think about is how much I want this man who currently has me on the edge of orgasm from his kisses alone.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
Reluctantly and with a great deal of strength that I didn’t know I possessed, I break the kiss, my lips burning to be back on his.
Diego’s eyes turn cold as he slowly lowers my feet back to the ground. My heart sinks at his reaction, but I can’t let him go as my arms wrap around his waist and I bury my face into the corded muscles of his chest.
His hands cup the back of my head, holding me against him. “This between us is real, Rae. You can’t deny that.”
His words ring true. I do know that our feelings are real, and that scares me because it doesn’t change anything. We still can’t be together. My heart breaks further at the realization.
“You know why we can’t be together,” I whisper, pulling away while fighting back tears. “I wish things were different but they’re not.”
He steps closer while I take a step back, his gaze hardening as he pauses, curses, and asks, “So it wouldn’t bother you if I dated someone else? It wouldn’t bother you if I fucked another woman? Is that what you’re saying? That you’d rather I be with someone else?”
I peer at him through foggy, teary eyes as jealously tightens my heart and my breath catches in the back of my throat.
Turning on my heel, I dash toward the exit just wanting to get home and away from the farm and Diego. I don’t make it three steps as his large arm wraps around my stomach from behind, hauling me against his hard chest. “That’s exactly how I feel,” he hisses against my ear, “at the thought of you with another man.” His breathing is harsh, as he drops his forehead to my shoulder. “I said what I did because your refusal to be with me hurts. It hurts a fucking lot. I wanted you to hurt too.”
The grip around my stomach loosens, but instead of moving away, I slide my hands to his and hold on while I admit, “I hurt too Diego.” I turn and let him see my eyes. “Knowing that we don’t have a future, that you’re young and will eventually find someone else, it kills me inside. I wish that someone was me because I’d give you the world if I could, but—”
“No fucking buts,” Diego snarls, cupping my face. “Do you want to be with me? The truth.”
I search his gaze and tell him, “Yes.”
His eyes blaze with heat as his head slowly starts to dip…
“Diego? Are you in here?”
We both freeze at the sound of his mother’s voice.
“Diego?”
She’s getting closer.
I can’t be here.
I shouldn’t have come.
Pulling out of Diego’s grip, I quickly head toward the back. “She can’t see you with me,” I tell Diego as he follows.
“I’ll talk to her.”
He didn’t say it but I heard it all the same “again”.
At the doors to the back of the barn, I stop and turn to face him. “Please take care, Diego.”
I slip out just as his mom says, “There you are. What are you doing inside here?”
There’s a pause, and I hear him ask, “What do you want, Mom?” sounding tired and resigned.
“I just wondered where you’d gone.”
I don’t stay around to hear anything else, and make my way slowly to my car, all of my energy spent.
Opening the door, I can’t resist, and turn to look back at the barn. Diego is leaning against the door, his eyes full of need on me.