RAE
Early morning sun streams through the window as tears run down my face. My emotions are still close to the surface, a place that they’ve hovered around since the last time I saw Diego.
I want him to be my man so badly that it’s a constant ache and I dread the day that he finds someone else.
“Hey,” Diego turns me over to face him, “what’s all this?” He brushes my tears away. “Rae?”
“I’m okay.” I try to smile, but my lip trembles as I snuggle into his chest and wrap my arm around his waist. “Just don’t let go of me.”
He kisses me on the top of my head. “I’d keep you close always if you’d let me.”
“I know and it hurts so much being away from you,” I admit, and sigh when his large hand cups the back of my head to hold me against his chest. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Diego. I’m so lost and nothing has any meaning anymore. When I’m sitting at home on my back porch, my first thought is always of you. I wonder what you’re doing, if you’re working a fire, if you’re okay…and, I wonder if you’ve met someone else.”
Diego growls and slips his hand over my hip to cup my bottom. He squeezes before his hand travels to my thigh, which he grasps and brings up to rest on his hip and I completely melt. He has a large strong body and that goes double for the erection that rests between my legs.
“The only reason why we’re not together is because you think our age difference is a hindrance. This,” he rubs against me, “doesn’t lie. Don’t you think it’s about time you let me in so that I can prove to you how much I want to be with you?”
He has no idea how much I want to jump up
and down and say yes but his mom already doesn’t speak to me. Diego tips my chin up and shuffles so that we’re face-to-face.
Exactly, you haven’t been doing anything and she doesn’t talk to you, so what difference would it make?
“I can see the answer you want to give me in your eyes, Rae, but it’s not the one that’s going to come out of your mouth, is it?” Diego closes his eyes. “Promise me you’ll think about us. Promise me Rae…can you do that?”
Not trusting my voice, I offer him a sad smile. “I’ve done nothing but think about us since you were in the hospital. My feelings for you and our situation aren’t going to change. There isn’t one person out there who would be truly happy for us.” I shake my head slowly.
“Fuck other people,” Diego hisses, pressing me to his chest. “It doesn’t concern anyone else.”
“You know that isn’t true,” I mumble, tracing a finger along his lips. “I wish it wasn’t because I know when you do find someone else, it’s going to hurt…a lot.”
Diego growls and pushes me into the bed. “I won’t be able to find someone else because no one could ever compare to you, Rae.”
My heart hurts because I want to be with Diego but how the hell would I explain it to Andie? And how would we make it longer than a week or two with his mom? I suspect Diego doesn’t believe she truly hates me and that he presumes it’s only a slight disapproval. Sadly, I know it’s more than that.
In a way I can’t blame her, because she’s a mama protecting one of her cubs, it hurts nevertheless.
Being here, in Diego’s arms, I feel protected and I know that this isn’t just a passing attraction. I’m so tempted to throw caution to the wind when I gaze into Diego’s tormented eyes…I can’t stand to hurt him like this.
His mother isn’t going to approve, but what I’m about to suggest might ease the worry of her interference. “If I say yes, we’d need to keep it between the two of us. No one, and I mean no one, Diego, can know. I want to see where this is going before anyone else finds out.”
Diego’s face splits into a huge grin as his head dips to mine. “God, yes.”
Thump. Thump.
“Diego, you up?” Kasey yells through the door.
Thump. Thump.
“I’m up,” he whispers and rubs against me.
Chuckling, I add, “I’m not sure that’s the kind of up he’s referring to.”
“I know,” he groans, pained. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Diego, get your ass up. You promised me some time on the ice,” Kasey hisses through the door.
I glance at the clock and it’s still early at 05:12, which makes me feel sad that my time with this amazing man is about to come to an end.