Her startled gaze snapped to his and a frown marred her brow. “What?”
“You’re an open book. You might be the main reason for me leaving but I’m doing it for myself as well. Please don’t ever doubt that I will regret my decision because I won’t. How can I when I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted with you? I love you. Stop worrying.” He kissed the top of her head.
She smiled softly, and met his gaze. “I’ve longed to spend time with you, lying cuddled on the sofa while we watch a movie together. Being alone knowing that I can touch you, kiss you when I want too. Being here with you means everything to me, Dante.”
His hand slipped to the nape of her neck and tugged her closer. “You mean everything to me, Em… Everything,” he whispered just before their lips met.
Chapter Twenty-Six
On a heavy sigh, Dante placed Emelia’s bag on the end of her bed in the guest bedroom. Their time together had come to an end, and he regretted being back in Frederick. Although Emelia had told him she understood that they couldn’t share a bedroom once they were back in the cabin, he’d felt her pull away from him and knew he’d hurt her. She still smiled and talked as though there wasn’t any problem at all, but there was something reserved about her, and while Barbara was in the kitchen, he didn’t want to confront Emelia.
They’d enjoyed their time away, and he’d loved being able to spend the time with her. She was his everything, and he just wished that everything was over with—the bishop, their family, the keeping his love secret from the world. It played on his mind and he didn’t like having Emelia separate from him.
He’d sinned enough over the past couple of days, he didn’t think he should do it under the roof that belonged to the church. As it was, he’d be spending all his spare time asking for forgiveness at his own alter.
Once he’d walked away and it was official, then he wouldn’t look back. While he still wore the collar, there was a small amount of guilt over what he’d done with Emelia.
Just the thought of her under his fingers and mouth was enough to cause an erection to strain his pants. It was when he remembered the feel of her silky, wet tightness enveloping his hard flesh that made him catch his breath. He gripped the footboard of the bed before he turned and dropped his ass to the mattress.
He slouched forward and rested his arms on his thighs with his head in his hands, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Sunday after Mass, he hadn’t stopped to think and reacted to another man flirting with Emelia, and now he had to live with the consequences. Oh, he didn’t regret being with her, he just wished that he’d had the sense to wait until he’d spoken to the bishop and got everything sorted and his laicization, where his ties to the priesthood would be severed—performed.
He hadn’t wanted to break his vows while he still thought of himself as a priest, but his love and jealousy for Emelia had taken precedence. He loved her, so why wouldn’t they have?
He’d left the bedroom door ajar so, when he heard it open further, he raised his head and found Emelia standing watching him. “You’ve been up here a while. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” He held his hand out to her, and when she grasped it with hers, he pulled her down to his lap, much to her startled surprise.
“I thought you said…”
“I know what I said, and I mean that. We can’t share a room under this roof, Em. But you looked lost, and I sure needed your arms around me.”
“You feel bad about what’s happened between us, right?” Emelia asked, but she didn’t seem surprised.
“I don’t regret what we did. I guess now that I’m back here, and knowing that I have Mass later, a slither of guilt has slipped inside of me.” He smiled and kissed her on the nose. “But it all started with me getting hard thinking about loving you. I can’t get Sunday evening out of my head.”
She smiled softly. “I can’t either, and I so wish that we could have made love again before we came back here,” she said quietly, but then added, “I mean with you inside me.” She blushed. They hadn’t made love again but they had explored each other’s body several times over the short holiday.
His gaze heated and it took a lot from him to act calm when his body was ready to incinerate. “Me too, but there’ll be plenty of time for us to be together. I promise, Em.” He stood and made sure she was steady on her feet. “Let’s go and have some cake with Barbara. I know she’s itching to talk to you.”
“She’s in love with Diego.” Emelia grinned.
“I know. Mateo usually causes her to blush as well.” He led her downstairs and, on the way, he added, “I don’t know why she never questions me about our brothers.”
She chuckled. “I’m a girl and love to gossip with her.”
Dante rolled his eyes. “Then gossip away. I’ll go and check my messages in the office.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him, with her laughing, into the kitchen where they found Barbara cutting into a scrumptious chocolate cake.
“Are you two horsing around?” Barbara smiled, and took her usual seat at the table.
Emelia joined her and pointedly glared at Dante. “Sit.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He grinned and did what he was told.
He took a sip of the steaming coffee that was already waiting for him, but he nearly choked on a bit of the cake when Barbara said, “I’m so glad you’ve come for a visit. I don’t know what you’ve done, but you’ve made him smile.” She nodded at Dante.