I took his hand and held it between mine. “You didn’t lose me. I was just hoping that I hadn’t been followed.” I shrugged when his frown deepened. “Patrick likes to keep tabs on me. He watched the apartment but I think, or rather hope, that’s all he does.”
He caressed my face. “I didn’t see anyone lurking around when I was there. I hid and waited for about thirty minutes, watching…and nothing.”
“Thank you.”
“You can’t feel anything for him when there’s something between us.” His face heated, but I knew that it must hurt him to think that I was with someone else. It would hurt me if the tables were turned.
I chuckled, leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I feel alive when I’m with you,” I whispered into his ear, and smiled when he shuddered as my breath tickled his ear. “You liked that.” He shuddered again.
“You need to stop teasing me.” His eyes were hooded, but I sensed that he could still see me. In fact, all my senses were still alive and buzzed with awareness of him.
“I can’t stop. The way you react to me is real, and it makes me feel good knowing that.” I shrugged away the twinge of embarrassment that I felt. “I don’t think anyone has reacted to me like you do.”
Stryker paused, and then his hand cupped the back of my head as he moved me against his chest. His arm closed around my shoulders to keep me against him. I wouldn’t want to move even if his arm wasn’t like a band of steel.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and rubbed my nose against his chest, inhaling his musky scent into my lungs. He gave me peace and, considering my situation, that said just how much he affected me.
“You make me crave things I’ve never dared to before.” I felt his fingers stroke through my hair. “I don’t know what to do about it.”
I raised my head to meet his gaze. “Would it be easier if I stayed away?”
His hands tightened around my shoulder. “No.” He breathed deeply and exhaled. “It would make it easier for me at the gym, but I can’t imagine not seeing you now. We just have to be careful. We were on video today at the gym. Patrick saw me with my hands on you. He wasn’t happy.”
I bet he wasn’t.
I dipped my head so that he wouldn’t see my pain. There was certainly no love lost between Patrick and me. It would be nic
e to have it all over with. I knew what I had to do, but deep down I knew Patrick would make it difficult for me to walk away, even after what he’d done.
“I’m going to talk to him.” I sat up and curled into his side, so I could face him. “I’m not even sure why we’re still engaged. The thing is, until I met you, I was more or less okay with my life.” I smiled. “Now, I realize that for once, I need to take control and instead of hiding to keep the peace, I need to say what’s in my heart even though I know he won’t want to hear it.” He should expect it after the other night because he had no excuse for what he did.
His fingers tightened in my hair. “Promise me that you’ll make sure someone else is with you when you do talk to him, okay? I don’t trust him.”
“I will.” I couldn’t blame him for that after what I’d left unsaid about last night, but perhaps I did need to tell him. Regardless of how much Patrick frightened me the night before, it could have been worse.
“Don’t think about it.”
“What?” I blinked in surprise.
“You’re easy to read.” He frowned.
I whispered, “He didn’t rape me, Stryker.”
The change in him was instant. His fisted hands rested on top of the table and he breathed deeply like a bull ready to charge.
I thought my words would put his mind at rest over what he thought had happened, but I was wrong.
My hands slipped over both his fists in a gentle caress, and when his gaze met mine, I reached up and placed a sweet kiss to his lips. His eyes were hooded and his body shook so I did the only thing I could and wrapped my arms around his neck, my face buried in the curve of his neck.
He froze and, seconds later, I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he held me against him. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I thought you’d feel better knowing that.”
“I do.” He exhaled, more like deflated. “He did something though.”
“Yes. He didn’t physically hurt me and I have no plans on being alone with him again.”
Shuddering, I clung tighter and as I felt his hand slip to the top of my bottom, I was so tempted to climb astride him. What would he do if I did?
“Why are you still engaged to him?”