Chapter 1
Lucy
EIGHT YEARS LATER
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
My hands shake as I sit down on the floor and begin my stretches. I glance around, taking in the hundreds of girls who are here for the same reason as I am. To follow their dreams and perform with one of the top ballet companies in the world. This is every little girl’s dream.
Who am I kidding? I don’t even know why I’m here.
Wait, yes I do. I was unwittingly roped into coming here by my supposed best friend and my number one fan, Bella. If I trip over my clumsy feet and make a fool of myself, I’ll never forgive her.
When I found out she’d filled out the application on my behalf I’d been so annoyed that I refused to speak to her for days, but now sitting here, about to perform, I’m thankful that she believed in me that much.
Since I was a child, the only constant in my life has been my dancing. It sheltered me from the pain of watching my mother succumb to cancer. It gave me hope when all felt lost. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life but at the same time I was plagued with self-doubt. I was constantly comparing myself to others, always convinced I’d never be good enough.
“Luce, if you don’t try, how do you know what you’re capable of?” Bella had said after I’d received notification of my audition date. I’d screamed at her for applying on my behalf, but what she was saying made sense. If I wanted to do this, I needed to know I could. How could I expect others to believe in me if I didn’t believe in myself?
“Lucia Spontagio?”
My heart jumps as I get to my feet. I run my hands down over my smooth tights, trying to focus only on getting inside that room. I walk in and smile at the line of officials. Some I recognize as well-known choreographers and dancers, some I don’t know at all.
“When you’re ready.”
I nod and position myself in the center of the room. I’ve been to auditions before, but none this important. The next few minutes had the ability to completely change the course of my life. No pressure, right?
Just dance like you’re the only one in the room.
I knew my chances of being accepted into this company were extremely low, no matter how outstanding my results were from college, or how many local productions I’d excelled in, and for a brief moment I want to kill Bella for setting me up for what was bound to be the ultimate failure.
If you keep thinking like that you don’t deserve a place.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and begin to dance as the soft notes of Bach fill my head. I forget where I am, and just like that, I’m back dancing in the studio my father built for me after I begged him for somewhere to dance.
Every day and every night I’d spend hours practicing in my studio, with the help of one of the best instructors in Chicago. Who said money couldn’t buy happiness? If there was one thing my father was good at, it was ensuring his little girl had everything she wanted.
—
“Miss Spontagio. Thank you.”
I open my eyes, surprised to have been cut short. That’s it? All my hard work and determination had been cut down to a mere eighty-six seconds? How could they possibly have seen my capabilities from that?
My eyes drop and I nod, sure my dream is over. As I walk over to my things, I’m already consoling myself over not getting in. I try not to focus on the cold silence in the room as I gather my bags. Finally, I’m ready to leave. I throw a smile at the panel over my shoulder as I exit the studio, just as the next girl enters, a hopeful smile on her face.
Outside, the reality of what just happened hits me. Holy shit, I just auditioned for the New York Ballet Company. Even if I don’t progress any further, the chance to be able to dance behind those walls had been pure perfection.
I’m still dazed as I glance down at my phone and realize I have ten minutes until my bus for the airport leaves. Breaking into a sprint, I rush through the crowds of people heading toward Grand Central Station, where I have only a few minutes to catch my bus.
I make it with only seconds to spare, stepping onto the bus just as the doors begin to close. The bus is nearly empty, with only an elderly couple occupying seats up near the front.
I choose a seat and sit down, crossing my left leg over my right. I take my phone out of my bag and stuff the bag between my feet and the wall of the bus before slinking back in the seat and closing my eyes. Shivering, I reach down and retrieve my gloves, sliding them onto my hands. Even though spring has officially started, the weather remains unpredictable and, at the moment, cold.
My mind replays the audition on a loop. I keep going over things I could’ve done better. I jump as my phone vibrates in my lap. Picking it up, I see that it’s my father. Wincing, I let it ring out, then switch it over to silent. I hate lying to him, but there was no way he would’ve let me go to the audition if I’d asked. I might be twenty-one, but in his eyes, I’ll always be his helpless little girl.
He’s always been overprotective, but things got worse after Mom died. The pain of losing her and not being able to protect her made him anxious about my safety. I couldn’t even walk to school or go shopping with friends without a mountain of security tagging along behind me. It’s only the last year or so that he’s allowed me to go out with Bella without an entourage, though I’m sure he still has them follow me. Thank God for my trust fund that I’d had access to since I turned eighteen. I’d been transferring small, unnoticeable amounts over to another bank account over the last three years, building myself up a nice little nest egg that my father had no idea about. I knew my father well enough to know he probably scrutinized my bank statements for any suspicious purchases. This way I had access to money that he couldn’t trace—which was perfect for secret phone accounts and trips to New York.
My flight home is uneventful, and on time. Bella waits for me in the parking lot at the airport in Chicago. I cross the street and walk over to her, sliding into the front seat of her cramped red sports car. Not one for practicality, that’s Bella to a T, and I’m constantly making fun of her ability to choose the wor