“Yeah!” Andy screamed. He threw his head ba
ck and laughed. Slamming my foot down on the pedal again, I screeched through the next turn.
Three laps went by in no time at all. After it was over, I steered the car to the gates. My blood was still pumping as I turned off the ignition and laughed, hitting the palm of my hand against the steering wheel.
“That was . . . holy shit, man.” Andy threw his head back and laughed. I smiled, feeling the exact same way, as I ran my hand through my hair. I glanced at Andy, who was looking a little green.
“You look like you’re going to hurl.” I chuckled. “Maybe you should open the door?”
“Nah, man. I’m fine, I’m just . . .” He shook his head, his smile now even wider. “Fucking wow.”
I climbed out of the driver’s seat, a little unsteady on my feet. We’d reached a top speed of two hundred and three miles an hour. Leaning against the car as Em steered Andy’s seat over, I struggled to catch my breath.
“You look wrecked. I can only imagine how Andy is,” she grumbled.
“Relax, he’s fine. That’s probably the most fun he’ll ever have,” I snapped. Sighing, I took a step toward her. “I didn’t mean it like that. He had fun, so let him enjoy it, okay?”
“I’m just worried, Seth. He’s getting worse. I see it every day—”
“Are you planning on helping me out?” Andy’s voice cut in as he banged on the window.
“Go help him,” I said, squeezing her hand.
Chapter Eleven
Emily
I was worried about him. All this activity was taking its toll. But there was no point asking him to slow down, because he wouldn’t. Watching him and Seth race around that track was amazing, and it was obvious how much the experience had meant to him. I was only just beginning to realize just how important doing this with Seth and I was to him.
Today had been the happiest I’d seen him in ages, but it had come at a cost: he’d been sleeping since we got home. Every now and then he would moan like he was in pain, but not wake.
My stomach was a tangle of knots. I was getting closer and closer to losing him; I knew that. Every change, no matter how tiny, I noticed and obsessed over, wondering what was next. I so badly wanted to freeze time and stop this from happening. I wasn’t ready to let him go.
Creeping up from the armchair that sat next to his bed, I leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek. He stirred, but didn’t wake. Quietly I left the room, tiptoeing across the polished wooden floor, closing the door behind me.
Seth had gone out—I didn’t know where—and Marta had gone home for a few hours so I had the house to myself. I made myself a cup of coffee and curled up on the sofa with my notebook.
Good memories. I forced myself to write one every day. Because I knew how heavily I was going to rely on them after he was gone.
Pulling a thick mink blanket over my lap, I opened my notebook to a blank page and began to write.
Valentine’s Day, 2005. Our first Valentine’s together.
I trawled through the offerings in the bookstore at the mall. My heart sank. Nothing seemed right. What do you give to someone who was facing the fight of his life?
A book seemed too impersonal. Chocolates were too cheap. A teddy bear? Nothing was memorable enough. I groaned in frustration.
“Still nothing?” Seth rounded the corner, raising his eyebrows at me.
“No. I can’t think of anything,” I grumbled. “You’re so lucky you don’t have a girlfriend. At least you don’t have to worry about all this Valentine’s Day shit.”
“Yeah,” Seth murmured, a sparkle in his eyes. “I’m so lucky.”
I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the store. I was just about ready to give up. A sweater? No, I might as well just give him a pair of freaking socks.
“Em,” Seth said with a laugh. “Whatever you give him, he’ll love.”
“But I want it to be special. It’s our first Valentine’s together.” And maybe our last.