Always You (Love Hurts 1)

If I could get through that, I could secure a job anywhere. That was what this was really all about: the security of a permanent job with benefits—such as health insurance—was something I needed. Not negotiable. This job on my resume was as good as a free pass to any teaching position I wanted. It put me one step above the other twenty thousand graduates who would be applying for the same positions I would be.

The dream to be a teacher had been with me for as long as I could remember and it was something that my father had hated when he was alive. I had so much potential, why did I want to waste it on a sub par career? Why didn’t I want to follow in his footsteps and study Law? Why was I such a disappointment? Why wasn’t I trying harder? All that when I was barely in middle school. Talk about pressure. In spite of all that, I knew he loved me and wanted the best for me.

When he found out he was sick, his entire outlook on life changed.

It had been a complete one-eighty turnaround. After his diagnosis, it was all about following my dreams, not settling for anything, and doing what made me happy.

Happy? Happiness was overrated. How could I ever let myself truly be happy knowing how easily everything I worked for could be ruined? Happiness was a trait that had eluded me for a long time. The best I could do was try and float with my head above water and hope I didn’t drown, and some days even that was hard.

Some days, all I wanted to do was say ‘fuck everything’ and disappear, move some place where nobody knew me and start afresh. The only thing stopping me was Mom, and knowing I could never do

that to her. Losing Dad had broken her. She couldn’t handle losing me, too.

That, and I was smart enough to realize you can’t run from your problems—they always catch up with you in the end.

***

Skype on my computer buzzed as I was getting ready to go out. It was Cam, one of my best friends from college and high school. Also a teaching graduate, he had ended up subbing for some of the roughest schools in Los Angeles. I reached over and clicked Accept, and turned on the mic.

“Hey man,” I said, dropping into my seat.

Cam’s big goofy grin filled the screen, his messy hair falling in all directions.

“How’s it going?”

“Heeeeey. How’s the private school boy going?” he yelled.

I sighed. “I can’t wait for this to be over, actually. I’d rather be subbing in the worst school in the country than here. These girls are fucking insane, man,” I said, stretching my arms behind my head.

Cam laughed. “Insanely hot, you mean. Am I right?” He laughed hysterically. Cam hadn’t changed in the eight years I’d known him. He had way too much energy and nothing to burn it on. He was one of the most genuine people I knew, and had been such a support when my dad had died. At that stage we’d only been friends for a few months, but he was there for me when all my other friends deserted me, not knowing what to say or how to act. It was amazing how in the face of tragedy, it all became about them.

I shook my head. “Don’t go there, man. God knows I won’t be. How are you, anyway? Any more interviews?”

“Yeah, I had one yesterday for a pretty decent school not far from me, so fingers crossed, huh?” I heard a faint voice in the background. “Amy says hi.”

“Hey Amy,” I said back. Amy was his girlfriend of three years, and a real sweetheart. She kept him grounded. “Listen, I gotta go. A work thing, but I’ll catch you soon, okay?”

“Sure, don’t work too hard,” he warned me.

“I never do,” I shot back.

***

As I approached the house I adjusted my black sweater and my leather jacket, trying to steady my nerves. I wasn’t a shy person by any means, but this was my first real job and I felt intimidated. I walked up the path leading to the porch and knocked on the door. Dan answered. He flashed me a grin.

“Dalton, good to see you again. Come in.” He ushered me inside, patting me on the back. I followed him through to the patio out the back where the rest of the staff had gathered. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Dan was one of those guys I’d instantly liked when we’d first met. He was the type of guy who everyone liked. He was funny, social, friendly, and he worked hard—complete with stupidly long hours—in his job as head of the Engineering department at Hallbrook University, just a few towns over.

“Sure, just a soda will be fine, thanks.”

This was one of those occasions where I wished I drank, just to calm my nerves. I stood awkwardly, smiling at anyone who made eye contact with me while I waited for Dan to return. I felt out of place, like the new kid in the playground. I’d literally spoken no more than a few words to these people. Some of them I didn’t even recognize. Layna spotted me and waved me over.

At forty-two—the same age as Mom—Layna was tall, slim, and attractive. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was cut into a sharp bob that framed her angular face. Her piercing brown eyes made her look harsh—like someone you wouldn’t want to cross. In reality, she was one of the most sincere, understanding people I’d ever met.

“Dalton.” She smiled, touching my arm. “How are you settling in? Glad the week is over, I bet.”

“Yeah, I’m loving it, but happy the weekend is here,” I chuckled. Yes, a lie, but telling my boss how I really felt probably wasn’t a great career move.