I didn’t know. God, I was so confused.
***
“Wrenn.”
I opened my eyes and glanced around. Cinter Beach. Where I had spent the majority of my childhood vacations. Smooth, white sand that stretched for miles, crystal clear water, cute little ice cream stores that stayed open late into the night. Not so much in the dead of winter, though.
I had so many memories. Remembering made me sad. It made me wish Mom was there so I could talk to her. What advice would she give me? Forgetting for a moment that Dalton was my teacher, Mom would’ve told me to go with my heart. True, unconditional love was such a rare thing to find that a short time was better than not experiencing it at all.
“Up on the hill. The one with the white fence,” I mumbled, realizing that Kass was waiting for directions. As she drove along the boulevard, memories of my childhood came rushing back: Dad, teaching me how to body board; eating ice cream on the beach with Mom and Layna; fighting with Jordan over which room was mine. I wiped a stray tear from my eye.
Kass pulled into the driveway. I opened the door and stepped out. We walked up the steps together to the front door. I hadn’t been there since the summer before the accident. As I walked to the door, a sense of peace overwhelmed me, despite the crazy memories flooding back. I felt close to my family here, close like I hadn’t felt in weeks—months, even.
Inside, we walked through to the kitchen. Everything looked just as it had two years ago, but for a thin layer of dust covering the sofa and the small glass coffee table lying in front of it. I walked out the back, over to the fuse box, and clicked on the power and water. Inside, the kitchen lit up and the fridge came to life.
“This place is nice,” muttered Kass, turning full circle, her expression one of awe. “You’ve been hiding this little gem from me,” she accused.
“I’d forgotten about it,” I admitted, sinking into an oversized leather armchair.
Kass joined me, sinking into its twin. Maybe ‘forgotten’ was the wrong word. I’d pushed this place out of my mind so I didn’t have to deal with the memories.
; “Do you wanna talk about it?” Kass asked gently.
“I don’t know what there is to say.” Would talking change anything? Nope. “Do you know anything about Huntington’s disease?” I half joked.
She shook her head. “And please tell me you haven’t Googled it,” she added.
I winced.
“Wrenn! God, stay off the freaking computer. Talk to Dalton. You have questions, ask him. God,” she said again, shaking her head. “Didn’t you learn that time you thought you had cancer because Dr. Google analyzed your symptoms?”
Obviously not.
I checked my phone. Twenty missed calls. I held it up so Kass could see. She groaned and shook her head. I knew what she was thinking: give the poor guy a break. Only, I wasn’t ready to. I didn’t trust myself to get through a sentence without bursting into tears. I needed time to digest all of this. I needed time to figure out what my next move was.
“I’m going for a walk,” I mumbled, standing up.
“Do you want me to come?” Kass asked.
I shook my head. I needed some space. I needed time alone to figure out my head. I leaned over and hugged her, knowing how lucky I was to have a friend like her.
***
About a five minute walk down the road and off a dirt track was the little swimming spot where we used to go. The white sandy stretch of beach was sheltered by huge oak trees which made it the perfect spot to relax.
I walked over and sat down on the broken tree that served as a seat. I ran my fingers over the engravings carved into the wood, one in particular catching my eye: Best summer ever, 2009.
I had been fourteen that summer. We had come down to the beach house for the entire summer vacation, and I had met a boy. It was that summer I had my first kiss. I smiled as I remembered telling Mom after it had happened. We’d sat up late drinking hot cocoa, talking about things, and somehow the conversation became about him.
I couldn’t even remember the boy’s name. Sam or Steve or something. I never saw or heard from him again, but it was the closeness I felt to Mom that I’d cherish forever.
Kicking off my shoes, I walked over to the edge of the shore and dipped my toes in the freezing water. I watched as the tiny waves lapped at my feet before being soaked up into the sand, then falling back into the sea.
My mind turned to Dalton. I thought about how special he made me feel. Nobody had made me feel that way in such a long time. It sucked this was happening, but it didn’t change the way I felt about him.
It didn’t change the fact that I was in love with him.