Always You (Love Hurts 1)

“Not knowing might as well be the same as knowing that I have this. It’s always there, Wrenn. All these what ifs in the back of my mind, they don’t go away. I don’t want you to have to live that life too. If you’re in this, then great, but you’re at least going to know what it is exactly you’re in for.”

“I’ve already told you I’m in,” she said with a frown, reaching for my hand.

“And I’ve told you that any decision you make before we know for sure, I won’t accept,” I said pointedly.

She rolled her eyes at me.

“It’s a big decision, Wrenn. If I have this, I can’t change that. Bu

t you have a choice. I never want you to feel like you don’t have a choice.”

“Dalton Reid?”

I looked up. The doctor stood in the hallway outside his consulting room. I nodded and stood, Wrenn rising with me. She clutched my hand tightly. She was shaking. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

We followed him into his office. I studied his face, looking for answers but he was giving nothing away. He would make an awesome poker player.

We sat down, waiting for him to take his place behind his desk. He nodded at me, raising his eyebrows at Wrenn. It had been years—about ten to be exact—since I had seen Dr. Martin. He hadn’t changed much. His hair was grayer, and he looked older, but that was it.

“Dalton. It’s been, what, ten years? You’ve certainly grown into a fine young man. I presume this pretty thing is your girlfriend?”

I nodded and chuckled as Wrenn’s eyebrow shot up at being referred to as a ‘pretty young thing.’

“This is my girlfriend, Wrenn.” Girlfriend. Wow, that sounds good.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Wrenn. I only wish it were under better circumstances.”

My whole body tensed as he turned back to me. I studied his face. His eyes wouldn’t quite meet mine and he kept wetting his lips, as though the air was sucking the moisture out of them.

This was bad. Oh God, I’m not ready to hear this.

“I’m sorry, Dalton. There is no easy way to tell you this, so I’m not going to beat around the bush. You tested positive. Forty-two repeats. You have Huntington’s Disease.”

That single moment I will remember forever.

My beating heart, the sound of my breathing, the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall. I was aware of Wrenn’s stare, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

Positive.

Positive.

No matter how much you prepare yourself for hearing those words, there is always the tiniest part of you clinging to the hope that it won’t be positive. All the times I had considered the disease, I’d never really believed that I would have it too.

I had Huntington’s.

The disease that killed my father was going to kill me too. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; dad had died from pneumonia, a complication of the disease, but this was my future. I felt frozen, unable to react. God knows what was going though Wrenn’s mind. Maybe it would be best if she moved on without me. I had no idea what was next. What kind of life could I offer her?

“So, what now?” I asked, clearing my throat.

“Now, we monitor you. At the moment, every few years, we will follow up. Once symptoms develop, we will track the progression. This doesn’t have to be a death sentence, Dalton. You probably have a good fifteen to twenty years before you develop symptoms. The CAG repeats are on the lower side of positive, and this is a good thing.”

I wanted to laugh. Not a death sentence?

Says the guy who was not suffering from an incurable terminal disease that would slowly rob him of his independence, and eventually his life. I stood up, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on me.

I need to get out of here. I felt sick. I headed for the door, knocking over my chair, with getting out of there the only thing on my mind. I made it outside, with no recollection of going through the waiting room area to get there.

Breathing in the freezing air, I gripped my hands behind my head, terrified and unsure of what to do next. Crouching down against the brick wall of the office, I slid down until I was sitting on the ground, my head in my hands.