“Stace,” I begin, not sure what to say. She’s right: it won’t last.
“No, it’s okay,” she says, forcing a smile to try and cover the pain that is obvious in her eyes. “I can handle it, Sax. Really. You put up with all of this and you’ve turned out pretty well.”
I snort. Have I?
“How’s things with you?” she adds.
“Pretty good. We’ve got a live performance tomorrow morning on the Today show.” I sink into one of the oversized leather armchairs that clutter the living area.
Stace’s jaw drops open. “That’s fucking awesome!”
“Language,” I chastise her.
She rolls her eyes.
“But it is pretty cool, huh?”
“Cool? It’s fucking amazing. Sorry.” She winces. “But my brother is going to be famous, which means I’ll be famous because you’re my brother. The girls at school are going to freak.”
I roll my eyes. I should’ve known it would all come back to high school politics.
“I’m happy for you too,” she adds, sticking out her tongue.
“Thanks, sis. It means a lot to me, you know?”
****
Dinner goes pretty smoothly without Dad around. With the exception of Harry, I get along great with my relatives. Kara is the same age as Stace, and the two of them are firm friends. I’ve always wondered if the disconnection Harry and I have has to do with both of us chasing the same dream. I’m three years older than he is, but it must be hard for him to watch me living his dream. We’ve never really gotten along. The funny thing is that when we were younger, it was he who was too cool for his older cousin. I have to admit, part of me loves rubbing my success in his face and I do it at every given opportunity.
After dinner I excuse myself, ready for an early night. The looks I get around the table are priceless, because me and early nights don’t usually occur.
“He’s singing live on TV in the morning,” Stace pipes up.
I shoot her a death stare and she shrugs her shoulders.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was some big secret.”
“What show?” Uncle Dan asks, sounding interested.
Harry stabs at his food, a sullen look on his face, which makes me smile.
“The Today show,” I say.
It wasn’t like I was hiding my news. Hell, it’s a fucking national show—they would’ve found out tomorrow anyway. I just didn’t see the point in announcing something that nobody but me gives a fuck about. Though seeing Harry’s expression almost made it worth it.
“Why would you keep that a secret?” Uncle Dan asks, shaking his head. “That’s an amazing achievement, Saxon. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” I say, smiling. It feels good having some support. I glance in Mom’s direction.
She busies herself with her food, pretending she can’t feel the heat of my stare. She’s too weak to support me because of Dad, even when he’s not here. Sometimes I really want to shake some sense into her.
“Well, I gotta get up early, so I think I’m calling it a night,” I say, pushing my chair in. I stroll upstairs and take sanctuary in my room, hitting the door closed with my foot. I throw on some music and lie down on the bed.
I glance at my clock and see it’s barely nine. It’s too early to sleep—not that I’ll get much anyway, but having to get up so early really throws off my sleeping pattern.
After tossing and turning for fifteen minutes, I give up. Throwing a T-shirt over my head and a pair of sweatpants on, I head downstairs, hoping everyone has gone. I walk into the living room, where Stace is stretched out on the sofa, tapping on her phone.
“Thought you were sleeping.” She smirks.