“This reminds me of when Maddie was born,” Claire murmured next to me. I grinned at the memory. Holding Maddie for the first time following the twenty-two hour labor had been surreal.
“Fuck that felt like such a long time,” I laughed. Claire gave me a look.
“You felt like it was a long time? Try being the one pushing out the nine pound baby,” she shot back, smiling. Her arms snaked around my waist as she hugged me. “Congratulations Si, you have two beautiful little girls.”
“I do, don’t l?” I smiled.
“Simon?”
I looked up to see Emma’s parents walking into the room. Leslie began to cry at the sight of her daughter. In the short time she’d been in hospital, she’d lost a lot of weight and I don’t think her mom had been expecting her to look this bad.
“Oh god, my poor baby,” she sobbed, clutching the side of the bed, her hand fumbling for Emma’s. Garry hung back, half-heartedly trying to comfort his wife, but looking unsure on how to react to his daughter’s condition.
“What’s happened? The nurse said she’d had the baby?”
I nodded, “A little girl, she’s in the neonatal intensive care,” I explained. I felt for her mother, but at the same time I found it hard to sympathize with her. She didn’t really know Em, neither of them did.
“Maria is coming over to see Emma,” I added. Her head snapped up.
“Maria? You told Maria?” she asked, bewildered. “Why would you do that?” My eyes widened at the sound of her voice. Was she angry that I’d let Maria know?
“She is her mother,” I pointed out, my tone condescending, even though it wasn’t intended to be, at least not consciously.
“She’s not her mother, I’m her mother,” Leslie replied angrily, her face red and tear stained. “I’m the one who raised her-.”
“No, you’re the one who let her down,” I corrected angrily, “You were less of a mother to her than Maria was and Maria had no choice because of you.”
Leslie sobbed, collapsing down to her knees, her head resting in her hands.
“I only ever tried to do what was best for her. After she was raped I didn’t know how to help her. I couldn’t fix it. She was all I ever wanted, a daughter and I let her down,” she sobbed.
“Then make it right. Be there for her now. Support her relationship with Maria, better yet, fix your relationship with Maria,” I sighed, angry at myself for letting my emotions get the better of me in front of Em.
“I might go and get a coffee, give you two some time alone with her.” I didn’t wait for an answer, instead I left the room, afraid of what I’d say if I hung around any longer.
Chapter Nineteen
Emma
Sobbing. I can hear sobbing.
“What if she never wakes up, Garry?” My mother. Or rather, my adoptive mother. I found it hard to know how to address her as mom now. Finding out my aunt was really my mother and my mother was my aunt had been shocking, but it had explained so much. So many questions had been answered, yet it had opened up another barrel of questions that were just waiting for answers.
“Don't talk like that. What if she can hear you?”
My dad. Wow, things must be bad for him to be here. Okay, that was a low blow. In his defense, he had been making an effort to reconnect with me since the abduction.
“She's in a damn coma Garry, she can't hear!” mom wails softly.
“That's it, get her out of here.” I could recognize that voice anywhere. Gran was here too? “For god’s sake, pull your shit together and be strong for her. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't be here.” gran hisses. If I was able to, I would laugh. I hear shuffling, which I think is the sound of mom and dad leaving the room.
“Right girlie, now they are gone you and I can talk.” Her hand slips into mine, her skin soft and thin, like tissue paper. “So I have a lot to tell you Emma. First though, thank you for giving me the most beautiful granddaughter I could have ever hoped for.”
Wait, what? The dull ache in my abdomen suddenly becomes incredibly intense. My baby was born. I am a mother. Simon and I have a little girl. I want to cry, but I can’t, I want to release the multitude of emotions that have built up inside and it kills me that I can’t. All I want to do drag myself out of whatever this was and see my baby.
“She's beautiful,” gran continues, “Simon is with her right now. She is a little fighter, just like her mommy.” All I want is for my little girl to be safe and to be there to protect her, but if not, knowing she was healthy and with Simon was the next best thing.
“What else? Well, I've met someone. You'd like him, Emma. His name is Herb, and he is eighty four, with a very healthy appetite for sex. He's even happy to experiment with different things. You'd be surprised how hard that is to find in an older man,” she adds, as if for some reasons she thinks that is important for me to know.