Chapter Four
I don't know if it was the hot weather, the fact that I'd had way too much caffeine, or the fact that I hadn't heard back from Simon, but I just couldn't get to sleep. My mind was in overdrive.
Maybe it was a combination of all three. And now I was hot. In the middle of fucking winter! I threw the covers off in disgust.
Tom stirred next to me. I felt guilty. I had completely forgotten he was there. He had come over after the girls had gone.
“Tom, you awake?”
“Mwwmrndvph” Tom mumbled incoherently, rolling over. I nudged him. Hard. “Yeah, now I am.” He sat up, and stretched, glancing around the room. “What time is it?”
“It's early. 12am. Midnight” I admitted.
“You okay? Another nightmare?” Tom turned to me, a concerned look etched across his face. His eyes searched mine for signs of trauma. I loved that about him. The nightmares were so often that he usually wound up sleeping in my bed when he stayed over.
“I’m fine.” I reassured him, not adding that I hadn't slept yet to be able to have had a nightmare. Reaching for his hand. I lay back in his arms, snuggling in against the cold. His skin was so warm, much warmer than my now cold as ice skin. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah? Course we can.” He gently tickled my shoulder as I tried to squirm away. “What’s on your mind?”
“I’m-Well, we...” I had no idea how to broach the subject. “I think I have a crush on someone.” I confessed. I pulled away slightly, unsure of how he would take it. I swear I could see the shadow of a smile on his lips.
“Really?” He seemed amused. He hugged me closer. The news of me having a crush made him happy.
“Okay, I am now more confused. I thought you'd be mad.”
“I’m not mad. Em, you're my best friend. I want you happy. We have never really been anything more than friends.” He stopped. “No.” He corrected himself “We have always been more than friends. Best friends.”
“So you're not mad?” I repeated.
“Why would I be mad?” He shrugged, smiling. He had a point. Why on earth had I thought he would be mad? “Is this the first time- Is this your first crush since..?” his voice trailed off.
“Yes.” I admitted. I knew where he was heading. “Not that it will go anywhere. Which I guess is why I am so comfortable with it.” Tom nodded. He brushed a finger through my hair.
“It won’t go anywhere or it can’t go anywhere? There is a difference, you know.”
I thought about it. I guess it was both. What made me comfortable was that it couldn't go anywhere, even if by some long shot the feelings were mutual.
“Both. It can't, but if it could I don't think I could.” I paused. Part of me really wanted to tell someone. I thought he'd take it better than Cass. “I think I have a crush on Simon. That’s why I thought you'd be mad.”
“Who’s S- Oh?” Tom grinned, his eyes wide. “I can't believe my girl is in love.” He teased. “And with a teacher. You little sex kitten. What is he, twice your age?” He hugged me. “My little Lolita.” I wiggled my way out of his grasp to glare at him.
“I’m not in love, you dickhead.” I retorted, blushing bright red. “It’s been a few emails, and he's not twice my age. He's nearly twice my age.” I corrected, climbing out of bed, hitting him over the head with my pillow in the process. He laughed, lifting his arms to protect himself from my attack.
“I'm going to make some toast. Go back to sleep.” I kissed him on the cheek and disappeared into the kitchen. I could faintly hear him chanting 'Emma's hot for teacher'. Maybe telling him was a bad idea. I'd never hear the end of it now.
I sat down with my toast and opened my laptop. There was no way I'd get back to sleep now. Settling on the couch with notes in hand, I set my laptop up. Of course, the notes were just a cover to convince the serious Emma in me I was here to study. We both knew I had no intention of doing any work right now. Oh fuck. I was one of those people. You know who I'm talking about, always
on the phone, emails constantly pinging through.
All in the space of a day. And all because of one guy.
I opened my email.
I felt my heart leap.
Yes.
An email.