Words Left Unsaid (Love Hurts 3)

“What's that supposed to mean?” I protest, laughing. “Are you calling me boring, Max?”

“No. Far from it.” His expression softens. “I'm not making fun of you. I’m just trying to point out that you’re still so young. Your life should be full of mistakes and situations you’ve learned from.”

“Two things: First, I have a five-year-old child. When was the last time you tried to do anything with a kid?” I raise my eyebrows at him, but don’t wait for an answer. “Second, you don’t think most of my life has been situations I’ve had to learn and adapt to?”

“There’s a difference between surviving and living life for fun,” he points out. “Okay, so not including anything to do with me, what were the last three things you did for yourself?” He pauses for a moment. “Or more to the point, how long ago were they?”

I think about this question for much longer than I need to, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right.

They all involved Aidan. Shit. Has it been that long since I’ve done something for me? He gives me a knowing smile. I hate that I don't even have to say the answer for him to know what I'm thinking.

“I'm not suggesting you go skydiving tomorrow. I’m just trying push you to do something for you each day.”

“And what about you, Mr. Motivational Speaker? When was the last time you did something totally out of the comfort zone?”

“You mean apart from moving halfway across the country? Or maybe it was taking the principal's job at my age, knowing how much flak I would get for it? Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect. Hell, there’s plenty of things wrong with me, and if you haven't figured that out already I’m sure you will.”

It’s late when Max finally leaves, and I’m wrecked. Apart from my catnap in the afternoon, I’ve been awake for about twenty-eight hours. I’m too old for this all-nighter shit. My body can’t handle it.

I send Ellie a text to thank her for looking after Tilly, accidentally letting it slip that Max was here. Seconds later my phone rings.

“I want all the details,” she demands. I laugh and sink down onto the sofa. “Come-on, Kee, don’t hold out on me.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” I protest. “He came over and we had a good night. I like him, El. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Ellie gushes. “Just the fact that you’re giving this a chance…it makes me all warm and bubbly inside.”

I laugh. Typical Ellie has gone all mushy on me.

“Don’t get carried away, we’re just…I don’t know what we are,” I admit. “But thank you. I guess without your pushy little attitude I wouldn’t have gotten this far.”

“Ha, I’ll remind you of that next time you accuse me of butting into your life,” she says triumphantly.

“I’m sure you will,” I giggle.

We chat for a few more minutes until I’m nearly falling asleep.

After ending the call, I take another shower, this time hoping the hot water will relax me. Afterward, I climb into bed and snuggle underneath the covers. I lie there in the darkness and think about Max. My heart races whenever a picture of him appears in my mind. There are so many things about the guy that I like, and nothing that I would change. The more time I spend with him, the more I want to. My thoughts drift to Aiden and I sigh, regret tugging at my heart.

Will I ever stop feeling guilty?

For so long I wished things could be back the way they were. I’ve spent most of my life looking behind me and never forward. For the first time in forever I can see a future without Aiden, and I’m scared.

Because once I take this step I can’t go back.

Chapter Seventeen

Max

“Jesus, Max, what is it about this woman that gets to you?” Kelly says, glaring at me. “Her first day on the job and she can’t make it? How is that in any way acceptable? Mr. Mattich—”

“Kelly, I appreciate your feedback, but unless you have the full story I’d rather you not comment. Kiara informed me the day she accepted the position that she was unable start until tomorrow, Thursday.”

Kelly’s mouth drops open, but she doesn’t say anything.

That wasn’t entirely true. The first I learned that she couldn’t come in was late last night when she texted me. Apparently Kaitlin needed to meet with her urgently.

“Still,” Kelly mutters, her face red. She flips her long, blond hair over her shoulder and pouts at me. “It is a little unprofessional.”