; **
She’s fidgeting as we sit in the waiting room. I reach for her hand and offer her a smile, but I know there’s not much that I can say right now to make her feel any less anxious. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her head.
“I’m so scared,” she laughs. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but . . .” She shakes her head.
I squeeze her hand. I’m about to reassure her when her name is called.
We both stand up. Professor Howes is younger than I was expecting: in his mid to late thirties, with a thick mop of dark hair and kind blue eyes. He has a friendly face that I find oddly comforting. He nods at me as we walk past him and into his office.
“Scarlett, take a seat. Is this your partner?” He’s referring to me. I leave that question for her to answer.
“Uh, this is Ryder Stevens.”
“Right,” he says enthusiastically. Recognition flickers in his eyes. “How’s the injury?”
My face heats up and Scarlett sniggers.
“Fine,” I reply, embarrassed. My broken arse is what I’m known for now.
He turns his attention back to Scarlett. “So, I’ve got good news. The testing we did on Jake shows that he is in fact a suitable candidate for the drug. We are happy to include him in the study.”
“Oh, God, thank you so much.” Her hands fly to her face. She’s overwhelmed with emotion. I smile at her as she wipes away tears, and realize I’m holding them back myself.
“The trial will begin in six weeks. You’ll need to be here for eight weeks, and then back for three follow-up appointments six weeks apart. Is any of that going to be a problem?”
“No problem at all,” I answer before she does, because I’ve already decided I’m going to cover all the costs.
“Good. He will need to have some more tests, but they can be done back in Chicago.” He pushes a clear plastic folder across the table. “This is the paperwork I’ll need you and Jake’s specialist to fill out. He can fax it back to me.”
“Thank you so much,” she whispers again. She stands up and extends her hand.
He takes it, his kind eyes levelling on hers. “Scarlett, I’m hopeful this trial will show significant improvements in at least some of the patients, but just remember it is just a trial. This isn’t a guarantee, okay?”
“I understand that, professor.” She smiles sadly. “But I need to believe this is going to work. I have to believe he is going to be okay.”
We leave the office, and I drop Scarlett off on Jake’s floor. She’s still in shock. Her final words to the professor are playing over and over in my head.
“I can’t believe I’m going home tomorrow.”
“I can’t either,” I mumble.
I’m not used to the empty feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach. I’m trying to convince myself that it doesn’t matter. This—whatever it is—cannot go anywhere. We are too different. We have completely different lives. We live in different countries, for God’s sake.
“The good news is he was approved for the trial, right? That’s the most important thing,” I say. And I mean it. It feels good that I was able to help them in some way.
“Right,” she smiles. “Want to meet me later?”
“Do you even need to ask?” I grin.
Chapter Fifteen
Saying goodbye is hard.
It’s even harder when you’re like me and you have major commitment issues that make Charlie Sheen seem like the settling down type of guy. We’re standing at the international departures gate. Every time I fucking look at her I feel the lump in my throat grow. I can’t believe this is it for six weeks.
Six whole fucking weeks.