Conflicted

“I don’t know why you leave your place with a view like this,” I joke.

He laughs and steps closer to me. My skin prickles as I try not to think about how nervous I am, or how hard my knees are shaking right now. He stares at me, one eyebrow lifted, as if he’s waiting for me to say something. Panic sets in and I say the first thing that enters my head.

“I should be getting home,” I murmur, wetting my lips.

The room spins and I have to force myself to breathe. He leans in further, so our lips are almost touching, his dark eyes playing with me. I nearly melt into his arms as his fingers touch my back.

“Should you?” he asks.

I tilt my head and fall into his kiss. His mouth presses against mine, his touch sending shivers down my spine. I feel my guard drop as I melt into his arms. The kiss deepens as his hands move under my dress. Gasping, I lift my head back and press my body against his. My eyes fly open as his hardness brushes against my thigh and he grins, amused at my surprise.

“You’re shocked that you have this effect on me?” he murmurs, pushing my head to one side. His tongue touches my neck, dragging along my bare skin as I breathe deeply. “You’re fucking incredible, Lacey.”

He reaches behind my back and unclasps my bra, manoeuvring the straps from my shoulders. I shiver as it falls away, leaving me exposed and at his mercy. He rolls my nipples between his fingertips. I cry out, my grasp on his neck tightening, my nails digging in so far I draw blood.

“Let’s get rid of this,” he mutters, forcing the dress from my body. My bra falls away completely, and I blush as he stands there staring at me, his expression one of hunger. He yanks me closer to him, his mouth finding my breast, leaving me gasping for air as he sucks on my nipple. “All I want is you,” he groans as he unbuckles his pants.

He takes my hand and shoves it inside his pants, wrapping my palm around his girth as he kisses me roughly. I’m on fire, my body reacting to his in ways I never thought possible. As his lips fight mine, my heart begins to pound, his words repeating in my head.

All I want is you. All. I. Want. Is. You.

They’re five little words that are confusing me even more, because as much as I want to want to be with Aaron, deep down I know that given the choice, I would take this moment with someone else every single time. Lucas. How can I go through with this, knowing that?

Gasping, I pull away from him, angry at myself for letting Lucas get inside my head yet again.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “I can’t do this.”

Letting go of him, I run my hand through my hair as I gather my things, shoving my jacket and purse in my backpack. All I can think about is getting out of here before I make a bigger fool of myself. If that’s even possible.

“What are you doing? It’s one in the morning,” Aaron says, grabbing my arm. I don’t care what time it is. I have to get away from him before I do something I regret. I shrug him off and start for the door, but he jumps in front of me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Lacey, talk to me. I’m not letting you leave like this.”

“I can’t, I have to go,” I mutter, refusing to look at him.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he says firmly. “You’ll have my bed, okay? I’ll sleep on the couch.” I open my mouth to argue and he places his finger at my lips, silencing me. “No arguments.”

Sighing, I nod, if only to avoid Ariel asking questions as to where I’ve been half the night—as if not coming home at all is going to result in any less interrogating. I stand awkwardly as he sets the couch up for himself, the whole time telling myself why this is such a bad idea.

I should’ve just gone home.

Chances are Ariel wouldn’t have even heard me get back. But it’s too late now. I’m stuck here, where I’m guaranteed to get no sleep because I can’t get either of them out of my head.

He leads me to his bedroom, makes sure I’m okay, and then he leaves, closing the door behind him. He makes no more attempts to try and talk to me, which I appreciate. I can’t even think straight at the moment. I undress and then crawl under the covers, snuggling up to his pillow. I close my eyes and breathe in, his smell surrounding me.

When it came down to really being with Aaron I couldn’t do it, for the same reason I’ve never had a serious boyfriend in my life: Lucas. As much as I want to believe I’m over him, I’m not. It’s that simple.

The sooner I deal with that, the better.

Chapter Twenty-One

Lucas

It’s barely six in the morning and I haven’t slept at all.

I stand in the park opposite my father’s building, where I’ve been half the night. The sun is just beginning to rise. I have no idea why I’m just standing here, but I can’t walk away—not until I work up the courage to speak to him. Tracking down his address was easy. Figuring out what to say to the guy who abandoned me after my mother killed herself and my sister is a whole other story. No internet search can help that one.

I sit down on the damp grass and stare at his building. What am I going to say? Am I going to accuse him of using Lacey to get to me? What if I have everything wrong? Maybe this is a coincidence and he has no idea who she is to me. I laugh. I’m kidding myself if I believe that.

I bow my head and rub my neck, the aching in my back easing for a moment. My head pounds—a combination of fatigue and stress. My phone buzzes, as it’s done all night. I check it and see a message from Harry, asking me where I am. I snort at his concern, knowing he probably just wants my car, which is parked behind the bar I left it at last night.