Conflicted

“Lacey,” he begins, his expression crushed.

“Just leave.”

He nods and steps away from me. I don’t look at him as he walks over to the door because if I do, I’ll break. Turning around, I listen for the sound of the door closing. When I hear it, I let myself react. Stretching my arms across the kitchen counter, I put my head down. He’s sick? I can’t believe it. He doesn’t look sick. How can he be dying when he looks so healthy? How can he be so sick yet work so damn much? It doesn’t make any sense.

I thought things couldn’t get any worse. After everything that has happened, I was sure the only way left was up.

Apparently I was wrong.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lacey

It’s Monday morning, and the nerves that are flying around my stomach are out of control. I feel sick—probably from the four coffees I’ve had and the lack of sleep. I take a deep breath and pass through reception before I can change my mind.

The weekend was hell. All I could think about was Aaron being sick and how fucked up everything is. I almost didn’t come back—ironically it was Lucas who convinced me I needed closure. If only he knew the whole story. I fought with myself whether to tell him, but in the end the only thing I could do was avoid him as much as possible. It’s not my place to tell him the truth.

He needs to hear it from him.

Aaron’s eyes widen as I walk into his office. He stands up, his dark eyes searching mine for answers that aren’t there. He walks over to me, his hand twitching as if he wanted to touch me but second-guessed himself. I step back, keeping the distance between us safe.

“Lacey,” he murmurs softly. “I didn’t expect to see you back here.”

“I wasn’t going to come,” I admit. “Lucas convinced me, because at the very least, you owe me this. I need this on my resume.”

“I owe you more than some silly reference,” he replies. “Let me help you. I can get you a job—”

“I don’t need your help,” I cut in. “All I want is what I’ve worked for.”

He walks around his desk towards me. My heart pounds and I step back, because I can’t handle him being that close to me. Regardless of who he is, I can’t just turn off my feelings for him, and Lucas is right: I need to finish what I started, for my own sake.

**

“Lacey?”

I get up from my chair and walk over to Aaron’s office, ignoring the fluttering in my stomach. The sound of his voice still gets to me, even after everything that’s gone down.

“Get you jacket. We have to go to …”

“Has something happened?” I ask, catching the urgency in his voice.

“Duane just attempted suicide. He’s in Clearwater Hospital in intensive care. We need to get down there so I can find out what happened.”

Wow. This was the last thing I expected. I quickly gather my bag and jacket, and wait for Aaron outside his office. I know I need to be impartial, but I can’t help but think how much better the world is without him. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t know. Probably.

We walk out to the parking lot where Aaron has his car and get on our way. As we leave the city, I close my eyes, taking the chance to get some rest while I can. My well-timed nap also negates the need for two-hour awkward conversation fillers. Being in the car with Aaron for that long after all that has happened hadn’t even entered my head until we started driving.

I don’t sleep much of the way, but the entire time I pretend, even when we stop for gas. If the situation wasn’t so serious I’d laugh at the lengths I’m going to avoid speaking to him. But I don’t know what to say, so for now this is the best I can do.

As we pull into the facility, I open my eyes and stretch out my arms. I look around, pretending that I’m trying to work out where we are. I rub my eyes for effect and stretch my arms out along the length of my body.

“You slept the whole way,” he comments, turning off the engine.

“I guess I was tired,” I muse. “Why are we here and not the hospital? Doesn’t it make sense to see him first?”

“I got a call as I was paying for gas,” he murmurs, turning to face me. His eyes look troubled. “I didn’t want to wake you. Duane is dead. He died from an overdose.”

Holy shit. I struggle to take in the news. What does that mean for the case, and for Aaron? For us? I’m awful for even thinking about myself, but if we don’t have the case, I no longer have a reason to see him. That should make me happy, but it doesn’t.