She rolls her eyes and swats my arm. “I’m just trying to make you see that it is worth it. It has to be, or what’s the point? Choose Lucas, or Aaron, it doesn’t matter. The point is choose one of them and enjoy whatever time you have.”
“If I choose Aaron, then I lose Lucas,” I say quietly.
“Lucas wouldn’t desert you. You know that.”
“Maybe not, but things wouldn’t be the same. I’m not sure I’m ready to lose my best friend.” Lucas has been such a big part of my life for so long.
“You think things aren’t going to be different now anyway?” She lets out a laugh. “Lace, you almost slept with his father. Of course things have changed.”
I glare at her. The last thing I need is a reminder.
She sighs and squeezes my hand. “Being with Aaron has you terrified of losing Lucas. Think about what that’s saying.” She stands up, pulling me to my feet.
“What are you doing?” I laugh, just looking at her.
“We’re going out,” she declares.
I stir my mineral water with my straw and laugh as I glance up and watch Ariel slow grind on the dance floor with some
redheaded guy. Coming out with Ariel was the worst idea in the world. It hasn’t taken my mind off things. If anything, I’m thinking about it even more.
I’m terrified of telling Lucas how I feel, because I’m still scarred by what happened all those years ago. How can I put myself out there for him again? What if we end up sacrificing our friendship for something that isn’t going to last? And Aaron. How can I put my faith in that relationship, considering it was built on a lie?
I have to get out of here.
I send Ariel a text, and then I grab my jacket and walk outside. It’s cold, and the wet ground tells me it’s been raining. I glance up at the sky, contemplating whether I should walk home. It’s still early, and it would be less than a ten-minute walk. Do I risk it?
I laugh and cover my face. If I have trouble taking the risk of getting wet, how am I going to ever risk having my heart broken?
I make it home dry, but still no closer to figuring things out. As I walk up the driveway, Lucas comes into view. He sits on the top step, his arms resting on his thighs. Lifting his head, he spots me and stands up.
“Hey,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. He smiles awkwardly. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“How long have you been here?” I ask.
He falls into step beside me and follows me to the door. I put the key in and open it, inviting him inside. My stomach flutters as he grins sheepishly.
“About an hour?” he admits.
He smiles again, which melts my heart. I wet my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. Walking over to the fridge, I grab two cans of soda and toss one to him. He catches it and sits down, moving it from hand to hand.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made your life difficult,” he finally says. He looks up, his eyes following me as I move across the room towards him.
I sit down next to him. “It’s not all your fault. I’ve done a pretty good job myself,” I joke.
He shrugs, still playing with the can in his hands. “I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
I tilt my head and look at him, curious about what he has to say. Did Aaron speak to him? I’m dying to know everything, but at the same time I’m still angry that he lied to me—even if he was doing it for me.
“I should’ve told you sooner that Aaron is my father.”
“You should have. But I know you were doing what you thought was best for me.”
“Let me finish,” he pleads. “If I don’t say this now, I might never say it. I didn’t do it for you.” He winces. “This is all coming out wrong,” he mutters. He rubs his forehead and runs his fingers through his hair. He sighs, before trying again. “I convinced myself that I was keeping it quiet for you. I knew what he could do for your career, and I didn’t want to ruin that.”
“But that wasn’t the reason?” I ask, confused.
“Not completely.” He leans back on the seat. Avoiding my eyes, he studies the can intently. “I’ve never told you much about my childhood.”