Conflicted

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Lacey

I pace the living room, checking my phone constantly as I wait to hear from either of them. This is a mess. Just when I think things can’t get any worse, this happens. I feel sorry for Lucas, and I feel sorry for Aaron, because he lost someone too that day.

My phone pings, making me jump. I look at the screen and see a text from Aaron. Four little words make my heart plummet.

Aaron: I need to see you

Grabbing my purse and my keys, I race out to my car. Nobody should be going through what he is alone. I don’t care what you’ve done wrong, nobody deserves that. It’s just like Aaron said: there are always exceptional circumstances to every situation. I chuckle through my tears as I drive down Main Street towards his apartment. Even when he’s not trying to, he’s still teaching me.

As upset as I am for Aaron, nothing compares to the sorrow I feel for Lucas. I don’t know what to do to help him, other than to be there for him. I can’t imagine my life without him. In the back of my mind a little voice keeps asking the same question, over and over.

What if we never get through this?

I can’t think about that now, because if I do, I’ll fall apart.

The door swings open and a smirking Aaron stands before me, his nose bruised and bloody. Gasping, I step forward, my fingers reaching up to touch the bridge of his nose. He winces, then catches my hand, holding it against his cheek. His warmth sends a shiver through my body as his gaze commands my attention.

“It’s nothing. I deserved it. If I were in his position, I probably would’ve killed me,” he murmurs. He walks me inside and closes the door. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I couldn’t not come,” I whisper, dropping my eyes. But it’s not why he thinks, and I don’t know how to tell him that.

His body tenses and he lets go of my hands. “I don’t need your pity, Lacey. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

“I…” I shake my head. “I’m here because I want to be your friend, but I can’t be anything more.”

“Because of Lucas?” he guesses.

I nod and he sighs.

Tilting his head towards the ceiling, he draws in a sharp breath. “I owe him the truth, I know that. But I couldn’t do it. I don’t want his forgiveness because he feels sorry for me. You should’ve seen the hate in his eyes, Lacey.” He lets out a low laugh, his eyes glazed with pain.

“You don’t have a choice,” I say, my voice soft. “And honestly? You should take his forgiveness anyway you can get it.”

It breaks my heart to see him like this, but he can’t not tell Lucas something this important. It’s not fair. I sigh and try a different approach.

“He needs to know. You know that he deserves to know. Let him make the decision of whether he forgives you or not. You were prepared to lie to reconnect with him. How is this so much worse?” I ask. “This isn’t going to go away because you don’t want to address it.”

“You’re too wise for your own good,” Aaron chuckles. His dark eyes sparkle in the light.

I stare into them and I see Lucas. He is Lucas in seventeen years. It’s like having a glimpse into the future. I shiver, knowing how true that statement might be.

He shares so many similarities with his father.

“I know I need to tell him, and I will.” He paces the room, angry and frustrated.

“You’re trying to do the right thing, and yes, it’s late, but at least you’re doing something.”

“But why should he forgive me? I abandoned my own son after he lost his mother and sister.” He speaks harshly, and I know nothing I say is going to change the way he feels.

“You were dealing with a lot. You’d just found out your daughter and wife had died,” I say weakly.

He laughs bitterly. “He was alone. Nothing compares to that. I was a coward when I should’ve been a parent. God knows he needed one,” he growls.

I reach for his hand and clasp it in mine. I’m torn. I want to help him, but not at the expense of Lucas. I wish there was a way I could fix everything for both of them, but I know that’s not going to happen. As much as I hate it, I have to choose a side.

“This isn’t helping, Aaron. All this anger isn’t going to fix anything. If you want things to change, then it’s up to you to try.” I blink back tears. “You’re not such a bad guy. Lucas will see that eventually.”