Provoke

Had Mace felt like this? With those other women, had he enjoyed it? He’d obviously gotten himself hard enough to penetrate them…that had to mean something, right?

A sob escaped from my chest. God, I needed to get a grip. I was losing the plot.

I had to switch off. I had to escape my own head. I had to detach myself from the situation, pretend it wasn’t me. Whatever I needed to do to get through it, I would.

I refused to let them win.

#

Mace watched me as I shivered. I clutched the blanket tightly around my body.

“Are you sure you're okay? Maybe I should take you to a doctor?”

“And say what?” I snorted. Calm down. “I’ll be okay.”

He nodded, his expression uncertain as he reached for the phone. This was it: this was the moment when we found out if the last half hour had all been for nothing, or whether we had actually gotten something.

“How did you go?”

I watched Mace anxiously, waiting for a sign, good or bad. Relief swept over his face as he crouched down to his knees.

Thank fucking Christ.

We did it. We got the guy.

I began to gasp as I struggled to breathe. My body was shaking so hard that I was struggling to keep warm. A sob escaped from my lips.

What is happening to me?

“Shit, Tim, I’ll call you back.”

Mace raced over and crouched in front of me. He wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his embrace.

“Shhh, I've got you. You're okay, baby. You’re just in shock.”

“I'm sorry I just I don't know . . .”

“It's okay, Leet. Let everything out. I'm here for you, okay?”

I nodded as he picked me up. My body relaxed into his arms, demanding rest. I was so tired. I needed sleep.

“Let’s get you home.”

#

I woke up. Mace was lying on my bed, reading. He glanced over at me and smiled.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

I smiled back, stretching out my feet underneath the cov

ers, my toes curling. I felt better. What time was it? How long had I been sleeping?

“It’s nearly four in the morning,” Mace said, reading my thoughts.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked, my voice still groggy.

He shrugged. “Too wound up. Besides, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”