I yank my hand back and push him away. He’s caught off guard and tumbles back. I take my moment and slam the door shut, shoving the car into drive. Tires screeching, I speed away. I’m shaking and I feel dizzy from holding my breath. But most of all, I feel empowered because I finally stood up to him.
***
I haven’t moved. It’s been exactly eighteen minutes since the text came in, and I haven’t moved. I’m sitting on the edge of the seat of my car, outside an abandoned shed on the outskirts of town. I stare at the dark asphalt under my heels, shaking as I try and figure out what my next move is going to be.
That was the wrong thing to do, Scar. Now I’m pissed.
Tears fill my eyes. He has my number. My address. He knows I’ve been staying here with Ryder. I can’t bring Jake back to this. Not until I figure out what the fuck I’m going to do.
I laugh and rub my forehead, trying to ease away the sharp ache that has developed. If I give him what he wants, how long until he’s back in my life? If I never saw him again, it would be too soon, but it never works out that way. Two years ago I gave him what he wanted, and now he’s back, using that against me.
My heart pounds as I reach for my phone. My hands are shaking as I type the message to Penny. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I don’t have any other option. I laugh, because I’ve turned into one of those women. How did I go from strong and independent to this? I’m disgusted with myself. I hate who I am right now, and I hate what I’m about to do even more.
Once I send this, everything changes. Once this is out there, I can’t take it back.
Me: What do I need to do?
Chapter Eleven
Ryder
My back is killing me. I pop a few painkillers and ease myself onto the couch along with my laptop. I’ve just finished work, and even though it’s barely the afternoon, I’m already wrecked. I have less than two weeks to go before I head back to London, and I’m not sure how I feel about leaving yet.
I’ve decided mentoring isn’t so bad. I mean, I’d much rather be doing something else—or nothing—but since I don't get a choice, I guess it fills in the time. And when Cally actually listens to what I have to say, it feels good being able to pass on some of my knowledge.
But the thought of leaving Scar, especially with her scumbag ex hanging around, makes
me feel sick. I’ve already decided I am staying until he is out of the picture.
Even if that means taking matters into my own hands.
I lay my head back and close my eyes. Matt is still hounding me to see some specialist here in the states, but thus far I've managed to avoid it, because what I don’t need right now was him knowing exactly how close I was to being ready to play again.
Still, my curiosity over my injury is getting the better of me, so I made an appointment to see a completely different specialist—one that Matt would never know about. I almost feel like I’m cheating on the guy, which is fucking ridiculous considering it’s my life and my career.
I just need to get my brain around my options before he starts pressuring me to get back on the court.
I have just under an hour before my appointment, so I open up my laptop and navigate to my email. I'm not surprised by the huge number of unread messages. I haven't checked my email in the weeks. Usually, even going one day without doing it makes checking my email hell.
I click on an email from Josh.
Hey Man,
You’re the worst person EVER to try and get in contact with. Why don’t you answer your fucking phone once in a while? Anyway, just thought I’d check and see how you’re going. Feel free to email or text me so I know that you’re still alive. Otherwise I have to fly up there and kick your ass. Any word from her?
Hey, will you be in London for Wimbledon? I could use the support in my box ;)
Josh
I chuckle and then click on the next message, which is from Matt.
Ryder,
Don't forget we have an appointment on Friday to see Doctor Larkin. You've already cancelled three times, so let's try and make this one, hey?
Matt.
I groan and reach for my phone and type a quick reply to Josh.