Prologue
Aubrey
Ten Years Earlier
Smiling, I finger the pale pink roses embroidered on the leather-bound cover of the most important thing I own. My diary. This book knows more about me than anyone. All of my secrets are inside—some I don’t tell Emma, my best friend, or Max, my brother. Well, there’s plenty Max doesn’t know about me—like how in love I am with his best friend.
I bite my lip and flip to a blank page. As the tip of the pen hits the page, a wave of emotion sweeps over me. I stare at the name scrawled over and over on the once empty page. Andrew.
I might be in love with him, but he’s never going to be in love with me.
He’s already eighteen and has girls lining up to date him. Girls with pretty hair and long, tanned legs that seem to go on forever. Girls with boobs and everything. I glance down at my flat chest and frown. It’s not fair. I should have some boobs by now; Emma does, but not me. Not even tiny ones I could pretend were bigger with the right bra like my mum does. Not that it matters, anyway. I’m pretty sure Max would kill Andrew if he ever tried anything with me.
I keep telling myself the age difference is too much right now, but when we’re older—well, when I’m older—it’ll be different. He’ll finally see how right I am for him.
The pen continues to dance on the paper—leaving his name, heart doodles and other random things—when I hear Max scream out from across the park.
“You’re dead!” Max hollers, and I look up, trying to see what’s going on. Andrew. Of course, he’s here. He’s laughing while Max is hanging upside down in a tree, his pants around his ankles.
I quickly toss my diary aside and sprint over to them. Anger fills me as I strike Andrew right in the chest, leaving a sting behind on my hand to remind me what I’d just done.
“Hey, watch it, killer,” he teases, baiting me into chasing him.
“You better watch out, Andrew. When I catch you, I’m gonna punch you right in the eye,” I threaten, running after him. His other so-called friends stand there and laugh; nobody bothers to help Max.
“Go home, Aubs,” Andrew says affectionately, ruffling my hair. I duck out of the way and scowl at him. I hate it when he treats me like a sister. “Better yet, why don’t you go play with Emma?”
“I’ll go home when you get Max out of that tree, you bully. Why’d you put him up there, anyway?”
“Because it’s funny.”
“It’s not funny!” Max yells, struggling to break free. “My arse is hanging out! Get him, Aubs. Punch him in the balls for me.”
I chase Andrew around a little while longer until I succumb to the realization he’s just too fast for me. Frustrated tears fill my eyes, and I’m about to lose it when Andrew saunters over to me with his ’I’m cooler than you’ attitude.
“I’ll get him down in a second, kid. Don’t get so worked up. This is just what guys do,” he offers, but it doesn’t satisfy me.
“I wouldn’t hang Emma upside down in a tree,” I state defensively. Emma would kill me if I even tried to think about putting her in a tree. She’d bring me back to life and kill me again if her arse was hanging out for the whole neighbourhood to see.
“Do you know why he’s in the tree?” Andrew asks gently. I shake my head. “Last night, Max and Sam decided to put unwrapped condoms all over my car. I didn’t get them cleaned off quickly enough, and now the paint is wrecked. It’s going to cost a few hundred dollars to fix it. Instead of making Max pay for it, I strung him up in a tree.” He shrugs as if it makes perfect sense, but it doesn’t. I’m even more confused now.
“Why did Max do that to your car?”
“Because that’s what guys do. We prank each other. It’s our job.”
“It’s stupid.” I cross my arms over my chest. “And he just got over being sick. What if that’s making the cancer come back?” I ask, pointing at Max, worry settling heavy in my gut.
“He didn’t seem too sick when he was trashing my car.” He grins, his face softening. “Aubs, I’m not hurting him, I promise. Just relax, okay? Go be a kid. You’re growing up before you need to.”
Leaning down, he bumps his shoulder into mine, and a familiar warmth floods my body. He and Max had been running around all school holidays; I haven’t seen them much. They’ll be heading off to Uni soon—well, at least Max will be. Andrew says he’s not going—that he’d rather start a job and make some money.
Without Max around, Andrew won’t be here, either. I’ll have nobody to distract me from my parents fighting all the time. With Max away, the fighting will get worse, and Dad will probably take that job in America. Who knows, maybe I’ll go with him. Mum doesn’t want me here; I’m just in her way. All I seem to do is get under her feet. I’ll miss Emma, but sometimes I feel like I’m just in her way, too.
“I’d better go,” I mumble, not wanting to leave. “Emma and I are going for ice cream with the money she got for her good report. You wanna come?”
“Nah, sorry, kid. Gotta get your brother down and take Sam and Cam home before their mum has a heart attack. I’ll catch you around, though.” He smiles a signature Andrew grin at me, stands up from the grass and walks to the tree to get Max.
I trudge back to where I was sitting to get my diary. Halfway there, I see Emma, hunched over and reading something. My heart races. She wouldn’t…would she? I break into a run, collapsing in front of her, out of breath.