Slow Grind (Men of Mornington)

“Yeah, you know someone?” I joke. But inside I’m not laughing. I’m going to kick Nash’s arse. In all of Victoria and all the clubs, he has to call my sister to emcee this? That’s exactly what I need … for Em to watch me grinding my junk for a bunch of screaming chicks after I scolded her for talking about what she gets up to in the bedroom.

She reaches over and whacks me on the shoulder. “You know I mean me,” she growls.

“Sorry, but I don’t think you’re right for the job, sis. No offence.” I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but something has to give. There is no fucking way she’s getting in on this.

“Nash said you need a DJ to donate their time. How am I not perfect for this? He said Aubrey’s helping, too. If she gets to help, so do I.” Em folds her arms across her chest, the frown not budging from her lips. I sigh; the only person more stubborn than myself is my sister. “The Rosewoods are our people. There’s nobody better to emcee this thing than me. You know that. So stop the whining and tell me what’s going on.”

“It wouldn’t be appropriate for my sister to be there,” I snap. “Can we leave it at that?”

“Why? Because you and your friends are dancing to raise cash for your sick friend? Jesus, Drew. It’s not like you’re stripping or anything.” Unable to meet her eyes, it only takes Em a few seconds to put together what I’m not saying. Her eyes light up and she laughs, clapping her hands together. This just made her fucking year. “Oh my gosh, you are, aren’t you? I can’t believe Aubs talked you into stripping. This is gold!”

“Enough,” I growl. I walk the short distance to my car and yank open the door.

“Wait,” Em says. “I thought Aubrey and I were going to dance? Is that not happening now?”

“Of course it fucking well isn’t,” I yell. I lower my voice as my parents’ neighbours come into view. “That’s the point. I’m not letting you or Aubrey get on stage and take your clothes off while creepy old dudes stare at your bodies and nurse their hard-ons. The guys and I are going to put together a showcase, I guess.”

“And you need a DJ.”

“We do need a DJ, but it can’t be you. I can’t do this thing knowing my sister’s out there watching me. It’s creepy.”

“For fuck’s sake, Drew, it’s time for you to get over yourself,” she huffs, stomping her foot. “Firstly, I’m gonna be there whether you let me emcee or not. Secondly, do you know how many times I had to lie in bed and listen to you screwing chicks in your bedroom?” She throws her hands up in the air. “You need to suck it up and let me do it. I’m the best DJ around, and you fucking know it. Plus, I’m free. Besides, you wanna cater for everyone, right? Some girls might not be into the whole muscles thing and might want a little lady action.” She winks and I laugh. There’s not going to be any talking her out of this. Her mind is made up, so I might as well give in.

“Fine. But when I dance, you look somewhere else, got it?”

“You think I want to see you shake that sorry arse?” she giggles, and I shoot her a glare. “Got it,” she sighs, rolling her eyes. “This is going to be great, Drew. Max is lucky to have friends like you.”

“Yeah, well, it was mostly Aub’s idea,” I mumble, not wanting to take all the credit.

“Speaking of…” Em says slowly. “What’s going on with you and Aubrey? I wasn’t there last night, but I could feel the tension through the phone.”

“Nothing’s going on there. She’s Max’s kid sister. A friend. Nothing else,” I lie. I slide into my car and slam the door, cracking open the window. “I’m catching up with the guys now to sort this all out. I’ll let you know dates as soon as I can so you can plan.”

“I know you’re leaving to avoid the topic, and that’s okay,” Em says, lifting her chin. “Just remember, if you’re not going to act on it, I will. Aubrey came back hot as hell.”

“Knock it off, Emma.”

“Start knocking it, Andrew,” she retorts, mimicking my tone.

Shaking my head, I slam my foot down on the accelerator and tear out of the street. Is she serious? Would she actually hit on Aubrey? Better yet, would Aubrey reciprocate? The thought of anyone hitting on Aubs pisses me off, especially my sister. Em’s been bi-sexual forever, but we’ve never chased the same girl. She’s just trying to light a fire under my arse. Not that it’s going to make a difference. I’ve already betrayed Max enough. And I’m not sure I’m done with my Judas portrayal.

I stop for fuel, and before I start my car up again, I quickly call Nash, keen to see if he has anything from the call he was supposed to make to the owner of the hotel.

“What’s up?” he answers on the third ring.

“That’s why I’m calling. Anything on the hotel? Do we have a venue?”

“Yeah. Just left, and they’re on board to host the event. Jake said as long as we put the name and address on the leaflets, he’ll donate their biggest function room to the cause.”

“Fuckin’ winner,” I grin.

“He gave us a date for Saturday, June twentieth, which gives us three weeks. I think he’s hoping it’ll pull in some out of town business and not just the locals. He’ll make a killing on room rates.”

“Great,” I say, hoping we can pull this off in such a short amount of time. “Okay, I’m going to get the leaflets printed up and start handing them out. I’ll also get the word out through radio stations, maybe an ad in the local paper. If you have any more ideas, hit me up.” I scowl, suddenly remembering Em. “Unless they involve my sister,” I growl, and Nash laughs.

“I didn’t think you’d be too happy, but you gotta face it, mate, Emma has a huge following,” I grunt in response, but he’s right. My sister kills it when it comes to what she does. “People might come just because she’s there. It can’t hurt to have all the publicity we can.”

“You’re right, but I’m still pissed.”