Breaking Noah

“Do you think you could still try to love me? After everything I’ve done?”

“I don’t know, Zara. I really don’t. I’m not ready to count you out yet, though.”

“So maybe we have a chance?”

“There’s always a chance. Now get some sleep.”

Zara rolls away from me, nestling into her pillow. “I hope you can love me, because I think I love you,” she whispers. I don’t respond. I don’t want to hurt her…or myself, because I think I might love her, too.

How the hell are we going to make this work?

Chapter 29

Zara

It’s early the next morning when I wake up. The sun is pouring through the gap in the curtains, which makes going back to sleep nearly impossible. Rolling over, I realize the bed next to me is empty. I vaguely remember Noah getting up a few hours ago, but I wasn’t awake enough for it to register.

Pushing back the covers, I lower my feet to the cold wooden floor. I stand up, wrapping my arms around me to try to keep in some warmth. I wander out of the bedroom and spot Noah in the kitchen surrounded by pots and pans. The smell of coffee hits me and my mouth begins to salivate.

“Hey, sleepy,” he says, with a smile that makes my heart race. “We don’t have a lot of options, so I hope you like waffles with frozen berries and maple syrup.”

“So long as there’s coffee to go along with that, it sounds perfect.” I smile, sliding into one of the chairs that surround the small wooden dining table. “What time is it?” I wonder aloud.

He nods to the clock above my head. Eight a.m. I’m never up this early.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” I ask.

“We wait for Derrick to come looking for us. Any moment now he’ll realize I haven’t returned his car. He knows where this place is. I’m hoping it doesn’t take him too long to figure out I would’ve brought you here.” I smile as he places a cup of coffee in front of me, along with a plate stacked high with waffles.

“Thanks.” I grin, pick up my fork, and dig in. Surprisingly—considering how long they’ve probably been in that freezer—they taste pretty damn good.

He sits down next to me and begins to eat. Every time he lifts his fork his arm brushes past mine, sending my body into overdrive. God, this man drives me crazy.

My mind wanders back to last night, and what he said to me just before I fell asleep. He loves me. Even after all this, he loves me. If there is any chance of us getting through this, I’m going to grasp it with both hands and hold on for dear life.

“So,” I begin, wetting my lips nervously. “What now? With us?”

He glances at me, his eyes wide, as if surprised by my forwardness. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that creeping around our feelings isn’t going to get me anywhere. I need to be direct and force him to confront this head-on. My heart pounds as I wait for him to answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

Not exactly the response I was hoping for.

“I don’t doubt your feelings, Zara. Or mine. It’s just—” He sighs, his voice breaking off as he shakes his head.

“You can’t trust me,” I finish, in a small voice. “What if I earn your trust back?”

“How do you plan on doing that?” he asks suspiciously.

I haven’t thought that far ahead. How can I prove to him that he can trust me? I betrayed him in the worst possible way. Without trust, all the love in the fucking world is useless. My shoulders deflate as I come up empty. I have no problems plotting to ruin his life, but I can’t think of one single way to regain his trust?

“It’s just going to take time, Zara,” he says, his voice gentle. “Don’t try to rush this, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

He’s not? I look up at him, my eyes meeting his. I wish I could believe him, that he wasn’t going anywhere. Only I’ve heard that before. Too often. The people I love almost always leave me. I can’t let that happen with him.

“Everyone I love leaves me in the end,” I whisper, my fingers toying with the hem of the T-shirt I’m wearing. His eyes dart downward, then back up to my gaze. He leans over, his thumb gently wiping below my eye. I blink, sending more tears rolling down my cheek.

“I’m not everyone, Zara.”