Resist

Gasping for air, I roll away from him. I perch on the edge of the mattress, shaking. I breathe in and out, my eyes closed as I try to regain my composure. Finally the anxiety begins to subside, leaving me feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. What the hell was that? I know I’ve been stressed lately, but a panic attack?

“What is it?” Jaxon asks, his dark eyes full of concern. I hesitate as he rounds the bed and sits down next to me. My fingers curl around the sheets as I press them closer to my body. I’m naked, not that it really matters. He’s seen everything I have to offer, so why does this feel any different?

Because things are different. Whether he wants to admit it or not, our relationship is moving into something unknown. His eyes crinkle with amusement as he reaches for my hand.

“Really, Char? Now you’re shy?” His smirk makes my blood boil.

“You make me sound like some kind of slut,” I retort, narrowing my eyes at him. He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t reply. He doesn’t need to. I did, after all, take this job. “You know what I mean,” I mutter, yanking my hand away.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he presses. “Or do I have to guess? I don’t like guessing games, Charlotte.”

“Nothing is wrong,” I reply. “I’m just not in the habit of ruining people’s lives. Sorry if I’m not finding that as easy as you’d like.”

He tenses, his jaw twitching as his eyes rise to meet mine.

“After all I told you, you feel sorry for him? The guy is an ass. You know he’s an ass. He ruined my life and you feel sorry for him?”

“I just…” My voice trails off as I try to put into words what I’m feeling. “People change. I mean, yes, he’s arrogant and selfish, but that’s not a crime. How do you know he hasn’t carried this with him? Maybe he’s learned from what happened. Maybe that’s why he is the way he is.”

Jaxon lets out an abrupt laugh. “Trust me, Ryan is still the same selfish prick he always was. Look, if you can’t handle this, tell me now—”

“I can handle it,” I cut in, my tone defensive.

This wasn’t about me not being able to cut it. It was about Jaxon looking beyond what had plagued him for nearly his whole life. Why did I think I could talk him out of this? He’s been obsessed with getting revenge for years. Nothing I say is going to change that, and nothing is going to stop him from obsessing over this for the rest of his life. I’m a fool if I think helping him with this will give him closure. He will never move on from what happened.

“I just want you to be sure that this is what you want.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself,” he replies. A smile shadows his lips. I close my eyes and sigh as he reaches up, his finger brushing my cheek.

I sit forward, crossing my legs under the covers.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he replies. “I might not answer, but you can ask.”

I bite the edge of my lip as the question forms in my mouth. “What happened to Brynne?”

I hold my breath and await his reaction. I’m expecting disbelief, or anger that I’d even ask him such a thing, but what I get is amusement. God, why is he so hard to read?

“The deal was you help me bring Ryan down and then I answer your questions,” he chuckles. “Not less than five minutes ago you were questioning my motives. I’m not even sure you’re going to keep your end of the bargain. What makes you think I’d give you this for free?”

His words slice through me. Every time I find myself feeling just a little bit closer to him, he makes a comment like that. He doesn’t trust me and he never will.

“There are other ways you can persuade me to talk,” he hints.

In spite of my depressed mood, I lift my head and meet his eyes. I smirk and shake my head. “Since when do you not just take what you want? Do you expect me to seduce you?”

“I expect you to try,” he says, a glint in his eyes. “Show me why I don’t need to always be in control. Show me what I’m missing.”

My heart thumps as I think about all the things I want to do to him. Just the thought of having control over him is enough to make me wet.

“You want me to take control?” I say. Placing my feet on the ground, I push against the plush carpet and stand up. He raises an eyebrow as I take a step toward him, pressing him against the wall. I grip his chin roughly and press my lips against his. He groans as we kiss, my tongue clashing against his.

I take his hands and place them on my hips, jumping at the feel of his skin against mine. No matter how many times he touches me, that feeling never fades. I run my hands over his smooth, sculpted chest, my heart racing. He watches me, a smirk playing on his lips, no doubt wondering what I’m going to do next.

My hand travels south. I wrap my fingers around his hard cock and squeeze. He grins, tilting his head back as I begin to tease him.

“How does it feel not to have control?” I ask, biting his earlobe.