I quickly dress and then head for the front door. I refuse to look at her, because I know one look and my resistance will fail.
You’ve already hurt her enough. Just leave before you do any more damage.
I stop just before I leave, my hand tightening on the door handle.
“I’m sorry, Jill, but we shouldn’t be doing this. I think you need to transfer out of my class.”
Chapter One
Eli
Rolling over, my back screams as I finally change the position I’ve been lying in for the last two hours—on the sofa, staring blankly at the television. I’m tired, but I’m too tired to sleep. Hell, I’ve been watching the same damn infomercial for the last half hour. If I have to listen to this guy’s spiel on the Nature Juicer one more time, I’m going to throw the fucking television out of my apartment window.
My phone beeps on the floor below me. I lean over and fumble for it among the empty beer bottles and takeout containers, already knowing it’s from her.
Jill: You can’t ignore me forever.
I know she’s right, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I see her every fucking day and there is nothing I can do about it. I’m in over my head, and I have no idea how to handle this. Our last contact was last week, at her house.
“I’m sorry, Jill, but we shouldn’t be doing this. I think you need to transfer out of my class.”
The words play over and over in my mind, haunting me because more than anything I want to be with her; but it’s not an option because she is my student and I’m her teacher.
I know what you’re thinking.
Predator. Pervert. Scumbag.
They’re names I call myself every single day. But the thing is, it’s not like that—and I know every guy in the same situation probably says the same thing—but in my case, it’s the truth. Technically, she’s only been my student for the last six weeks, and even that was by pure coincidence.
Technically . . . nearly everything can be rationalized on a technicality, right?
We met online. She’d told me she was twenty; that she worked in an office. We had six months of getting to know one another before we finally took the plunge and met. The weekend that followed was the best of my life.
I had fallen for the girl who hid behind the safety of her computer screen, with her smart mouth and witty sense of humor. By the time we actually met, she knew more about me than some of my closest friends, and I was gone. When I saw her walk through the door of the bar we’d arranged to meet at, I couldn’t believe my luck. She was gorgeous, and for some insane reason she seemed into me too.
Finding Jill reaffirmed everything I already knew but was too scared to admit: that even I am capable of falling in love.
Things were perfect.
Until I found out the truth.
That she wasn’t twenty. She was just a kid, pretending to be something she wasn’t. But the shocks didn’t end there. My dad—who I have a very strained relationship with—is sick. I came to Denver to help him out by taking over his classes. He needed a break from teaching and I needed the experience. It was a win/win, and I got to be closer to Jill. It was perfect.
Only I didn’t realize how close this was going to get me.
She wasn’t expecting me to walk into that classroom, and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see her sitting there. I’ll never forget how I felt that day. I’d been pacing the hall, trying to get her out of my mind while I waited for Dad to introduce me to the class. I walked inside, and when my eyes fell on her my heart plummeted.
This couldn’t be happening.
I could hear Dad’s voice, but I wasn’t taking in any of what he was saying. I couldn’t drag my gaze away from her. Wasn’t it bad enough that she lied to me? Now she had to be in my fucking classroom? There was no way I was going be able to handle this. I was sure everyone could tell right then and there that there was something between us. I’m a guy who fell in love with the wrong girl. I can’t even begin to explain how I feel because nothing makes sense to me anymore.
The anger and frustration that she’d lied to me went away, but the feelings I felt for her didn’t. She lied to me about her age, but the person I’d spent six months getting to know was still the same sweet, funny girl. When I found out she was my student, I knew I needed to end it before things spiraled even more out of control. Only it wasn’t as simple as saying it’s over.
It never is.
I’ve tried staying away from her, but when you crave somebody as much as I do her, it’s impossible. So I’ll avoid her for as long as I need to, until I can control how I feel, because I know I don’t have the strength to refuse her.
I stare at the screen in front of me and rub my eyes. I know it’s time to go to bed because I’m one second away from ordering one of these fucking juicers.