The Dancer

I slowed down when I hit New Jersey and kept going. It was another three hours to the shore but I didn’t care, no one would be around this time of year and that’s just what I needed.

The farther away I got the worst I felt, but I ignored that shit too. She wasn’t deserving of all that I’d done and tried to do. Anyone who could overlook all the good and cling to the bad that easily was never going to change.

I knew it was my anger talking. That when I told myself I didn’t care what she did I was only lying to myself, but I wasn’t ready to be an adult about this shit.

My phone had been going off every ten minutes, but I ignored it, throwing the shit in the passenger seat next to me. I don’t want to hear shit. I know one thing, I’m never going to put myself through this shit again. Not for her, not for anyone.

So why do I feel like hell? Like my heart was bleeding out in my chest? “How the fuck could you do this Anna?” I’d been so happy, so excited about giving her-her ring, the look on her face, the whole wedding planning thing.

I practically had our life together planned out and it was all going to be good. Nowhere in there was my woman throwing a damn phone in my face and accusing me of some shit that I never even thought of doing. I’ve never had to deal with this cheating shit because it has never been an issue.

The one time I was being true she had to pull this shit. I’d given up who I was for her, for us, had put myself out there and she still doesn’t trust me.

I realized that I was more hurt than angry. That while I’d been building castles in the sky she was

just waiting for me to fuck up so she could pull this shit. I wasn’t in the mood to see shit from her side because none of that mattered.

She should’ve trusted me, or at the very least given me a chance to explain that shit. And who the fuck is this female? Where had she come from, why now?

All the years I played the field shit like this never happened, so why now? It’s as if someone had deliberately set out to fuck with me, and her. They’d fucking hurt her. I felt that shit in my gut. “Dammit Anna.”

I almost turned back when I remembered her face, when rationality tried to rear its ugly head. Thanks to mom I always do this thing where I put myself in someone else’s shoes, and I have to admit that if I’d seen a picture like that of her with someone else I might’ve jumped to the wrong conclusion too.

But that doesn’t answer the fact that I’d spent the last few months showing this girl my heart in a way I never have with anyone else. And I know for a fact I would’ve at least given her a chance to explain her side before going upside her head.

I really needed a drink, but could hear Tony’s annoying ass telling me that’s the last thing I need right now. Speak of the devil. His ringtone rang out in the car and all I could think is it took him long enough. Meddling fuck!

“So where we going?”

“The fuck you mean where we going?”

“Check your rearview.”

“This mother… where did you come from?”

“Well, I was still on your block when aunt Sophie called and said some shit was up, by the time I turned around I saw you in the demon car zooming down Central Park South and I’ve been behind you ever since. Is this how you drive, you don’t look behind you? Pull over.”

I looked out my window and saw nowhere to pull over. “Where the fuck to, the woods?”

“Up ahead is a rest stop.” Five minutes later I pulled into the empty parking lot wondering what the hell I was doing here. She ran me out my own fucking house.

Now this one is slamming out of the car like he’s mad. “What the fuck are you doing bruh? Is this how you plan on handling shit? You gonna run away and pout like a fifteen year old girl?”

“There isn’t going to be a next time, I’m done.”

“Don’t be an ass, we got work to do.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Sherrie sent me the pic, I traced the number and guess who, it’s Arlene, well actually she used her kid’s phone.”

“The girl in the photo is a paid escort. Arlene hired her, she didn’t know what she was doing. Only that she was supposed to get close to you. Someone else in the crowd took the picture, they didn’t have anything to do with it either.”