Rewriting History

How can I put this so she will understand? And that's the thing: she’s still a child. Regardless of the fact that she is eighteen, she’s so young compared to me, and it’s obvious now more than ever how differently we think.

“I'm not giving up on us. That's not what this is about. It's five months, Jill. Surely you can handle that?” I snap.

Hurt flashes in her eyes. “So now I'm being immature?”

“Aren’t you?” I fire back. “This is my career. It's not some schoolyard game. Look, I want to be with you. You know that, but if you can't respect what I need to do then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”

“Fine.” She gets to her feet and storms off into my bedroom, returning a few minutes later with her bag full of things. “See you at school tomorrow, Mr. Anderson.”

Before I can respond, she is out the door. Shit. I race into the bedroom and throw on jeans, then head to the door to chase after her. She's halfway down the drive by the time I reach her side.

“I didn't mean it like that.”

“You did. You wouldn't have said it otherwise. Hell, maybe you’re right. Maybe I am too young to do this. Maybe I need to experience high school like everyone else, huh?”

She's pissed. I stand back and let her speak.

“Maybe what I should be having is drunken sex with the football team behind the bleachers, or giving free head in the boys’ locker room.”

“Jill,” I growl, reaching for her arm. “For fuck’s sake, stop acting like—”

“Like what, Eli?” she asks. “A teenager?”

Chapter Eighteen

Jill

I’ve never been so filled with lust for someone that it consumes my days. It’s pathetic, really, since I haven’t been with Eli for long, not counting the months before we actually met. My phone is being kept out of reach so I don’t get the urge to text him for a booty call. And my God, I’ve wanted to text him so many times in the last two days.

My phone vibrates as I’m walking to school. I fish it out of my bag, my heart dropping when I see it’s not him. It’s Alice.

“What do you mean he wants to wait five months? Fuck, is he a monk or something?” Alice screeches, her voice high-pitched.

I sigh. How can I explain it to her when I don’t understand it myself? “The thing is, I’m trying to be rational about it all. I get what he’s saying, but five months is a long time, especially when I have to see him every freaking day.”

“Well, at least you’re free to see other guys, right? I mean, he can’t expect you to do nothing for the rest of the year, can he?”

“I don’t want to see other guys,” I mumble.

“Just think of it as work experience, Jill. You won’t be there for a long while, but it’ll give you experience for the next venture.” She snickers and I groan. Sometimes she just thinks too far outside the norm.

“Really, Alice? You want to relate having sex with different guys to work experience? Fuck, I may as well just be a hooker and get paid for it at the same time.” I laugh.

“Hmm, I think you’re onto something there, Jilly.” She cracks up laughing.

“You’re such a dick, but that’s why I love you. I gotta go.”

Hanging up, I see Sophia walking in from the parking lot ahead.

“Sophia,” I yell.

She turns and waves, and I run to catch up with her.

***

I walk down the hallway alone, heading toward history class. My stomach is a knot of nerves. We haven’t spoken since the other night. Every time I see him I walk the other way, because the thought of dealing with him is too much for me to handle right now. Even so, I’m pissed that not once has he tried to talk to me. How does that work? We had the most intense relationship, and now he won’t even fucking acknowledge me. He is the definition of the word ‘asshole.’

I take a deep breath and push the door open. I can feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to look at him. I scan the room until I see Sophia. I’m so freaking happy she was able to transfer into this class, because I really need the support. I walk over and sit down next to her. She eyes me sympathetically, and I nod, but smile to let her know I’m okay.