Rewriting History

She huffs and shakes her head before stalking away, leaving me standing there shaking my head.

***

I walk into his room, my eyes falling on the frail frame hunched over on the bed. He’s sitting up. That’s something. He glances over, his eyes meeting mine.

“You came.”

I resist the urge to shake my head at his indifferent tone. Instead, I move over to the chair a few feet from the bed and sit down, pulling my legs under me. I watch as he reaches for his robe, struggling to thread his arms through. I look down, focusing on a tiny loose thread in the beige carpet, the only sound being the occasional grunt or gasp from him. I lean forward and pick up the tissue that has fallen to the floor

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“So, how are you feeling?” I ask.

He shrugs, a small smile on his lips. “Not bad. The worst part is how tired I feel. The girls won’t let me do much other than rest.”

I nod, trying to think of what else to say. “Your classes are fine. Though I do wonder about a couple of them. I don’t think I’d be surprised if they ended up on America’s Most Wanted in a few years.”

He chuckles and nods. “There’s always a few, huh? But then they’re usually the ones who surprise you the most.” He hesitates, before adding; “You’ve been keeping away from Jill, haven’t you?”

My jaw clenches. I knew she would come up in our conversation. “I told you I would, didn’t I?” I snap.

“Eli,” he sighs. “Why don’t I believe you? You have no idea what kind of trouble you’re setting yourself up for. You can’t have a relationship with Jill when you’re a teacher at the school. Jesus Christ, why are you setting yourself up to get a bad rep against your name? I’m telling you... this will ruin your hard work.”

I laugh. I can’t believe this. I can’t have this conversation with him again.

“Look, I have to go.” I stand up and rub my jaw, working hard to stem my anger. “I’ll drop by in a few days,” I mutter.

He nods, eyeing me with suspicion. He accused me of lying to him and I didn’t bother to address that, because at this point I don’t care. Whatever he thinks of me and Jill, I just don’t care. He lost the right to have input in my life a long time ago.

Why is it so hard for me to have a civil conversation with Dad? Things are worse now that he knows about Jill. The fact that I ended things doesn’t matter. I was still with a student, and for whatever reason he thinks he’s better than me now? He’s fucked up so many things in my life, and no matter what I do I just can’t get past that. Whenever I’m near him it’s a constant reminder of the hell he put both me and Mom through for someone a year or two older than me.

Maybe I’m so angry because the reason I hate him so much is something I’m doing myself, with Jill. I’m a fucking hypocrite.

I hear the door open and close and Mel sits next to me. She glances at me, worried, and places a hand on my shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Eli? It’s more than Dad, isn’t it?”

“It’s nothing that won’t sort itself out,” I mutter. Can you imagine Mel’s reaction if I told her how deep I was with a student? The psychologist in her would have a field day with that one.

“Are you having money problems? I can lend you money if you need it,” she offers.

I laugh. God, if only it were money troubles.

“No, I’m not having money issues. It’s girl troubles.” Letting out a breath, I look back toward the street. “I like her so much, but I’m not sure how things will be perceived. That’s what is bothering me.”

“If there’s anything I’ve learned about relationships, it’s that you’re never going to make everybody happy. The best advice I can give you is to do what’s best for you. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. If you love this woman, let her know that and hold onto her. Fuck what everyone else thinks.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze.

I regret not spending more time with my sisters.

***

“Hey, Mom.” I speak through the phone with my mouth full of cold leftover pizza.

“Eli, so good to hear from you—although I taught you better than to talk with your mouth full, didn’t I?” Mom laughs. “I miss having you home. How’s my boy?”

“Good. How are you?” I ask, realizing how much I miss her. After looking after her for so long, we have an extremely strong bond. “How’s Kenny? Did he take you away for your anniversary?”

“He sure did. He took me to Hawaii and we stayed in this beautiful hotel. It had its own private nude beach and everything. It was so much fun.” She giggles.