Rewriting History

“I’m so sorry, Jill. For everything.” He stares down at his hands, as though he’s embarrassed to look at me. “It was totally uncool of me to take my anger out on you.”

I’m shocked. I never thought I’d hear an apology from Jamie.

“But why?” I ask, still not getting it. Is this all because of my mom? “What have I ever done to you to deserve that?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he mumbles, bru

shing his hair out of his eyes.

“Try me.”

“My dad isn’t a very nice guy. He can be physically abusive at times.” He breathes out and stares up at the sky. “I walked in on him and your mom . . . He told me to keep my mouth shut or there would be consequences.”

He laughs and shakes his head, kicking his legs out in front of him.

“I was so angry because he’s always fucked around, but he was different with your mom. I could tell it wasn’t just a quick thing. And it sucked because my mom, who sits at home most of the day being a good little wife, was totally oblivious to what he was doing. He knew how close I was to telling her. The only thing that stopped me was I wasn’t sure if she could cope with hearing it.”

“Wow. I’m sorry,” I mumble, not sure what else to say. “Does he . . . has he hit you?”

He laughs and nods. “All the fucking time. I was so damn angry. I thought you knew what was going on. You were an easy target.” He gets to his feet and faces me. It’s awkward, standing there, listening to him rationalize his behavior. I’m not ready to forgive him, but knowing this, maybe one day we can move toward that.

“Thanks for telling me this,” I say. “I know that must’ve been hard.”

He shrugs. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you. Oh, and you and Eli? I won’t tell anyone. You don’t have to worry about that.”

I nod, and watch him as he walks off. I wonder how much of this has to do with the girl Sophia told me about. Either way, I’m glad he’s backing off. If he actually does.

As soon as he’s gone, I get to my feet and grab my bag. I refuse to let Eli go through this alone. Whether he wants me there or not, I’m going.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Eli

I hand Mel another glass of wine and then collapse onto the sofa. She eyes me sympathetically, as if this whole thing has been harder on me than everyone else. It hasn’t; I’m just a pussy with way too much regret—something that no amount of alcohol is going to distract me from. Not that it’s going to stop me from trying to drown my emotions. I lift the glass of scotch to my lips and take a sip.

The loud banging on the door startles me.

Mel waves her arm. “I’ll get it. It’s probably just Jules anyway.”

I nod, and she disappears out of the room. I glance at my phone to see if she’s texted me anymore. I couldn’t tell her not to come because Mel was here, and I hope she doesn’t think I’m angry with her. I’m not; I just don’t know how to deal with the pain I’m feeling.

I look up as Mel walks back into the living room. My eyes widen when I see Jill trailing behind her. Fuck. I jump up, madly tying to scrape together an excuse as to why she would be here at this time of night.

“Eli.” Mel shakes her head. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m guessing this is the girl you were talking to me about?”

Jill raises her eyebrows and I flush.

“Mel, this is Jill.” I swallow. “My girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Jill.” I have to hand it to Mel: she’s been completely non-judgmental about all of this. She turns to me and kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

I nod. I have a feeling I’m going to be hearing more about this then.

Jill and I lay on the sofa, her in my arms, just enjoying each other’s company. I may still be slightly inebriated, but the buzz from the scotch is beginning to wear off. Jill laughs after my tenth groan.

“How much did you have to drink?” she teases as I kiss her neck.

“Too much. Today was hard. Sitting around with my family is never a fun thing,” I joke.