She’s the one who reassures me while I’ve become the bitch. I’m borderline obsessive and all the way possessive and I don’t give a damn how much Tony laughs at my ass.
I love that my love makes her glow. I love that her faith in me and my love for her has allowed her to spread her wings. Because she knows that no matter what I have her back.
I do everything to assure her that I’m not going anywhere and it’s not a drag because it comes easy. This love shit is the best racket going. Because while I’m reassuring her, I’m falling more in love
with her.
Sometimes I can’t believe my life. I watch the three of them together, and think, that’s mine. Even when my kids are being a handful I embrace that shit because those little people are depending on their mother and I for every damn thing.
When I’m up with them because they’re sick and their mom is too tired to lift her head, my heart aches for my little guys and I want to take away the fever or sore gums or whatever.
It’s things like that that make me detest her father even more. To think that he’d once had that and gave it all away for someone that left him not long after I first met him.
The more time I spend with my wife and kids the harder it is for me to imagine life without them. I can’t see me living with some other woman and seeing my kids on the weekends and shit.
Or some other guy knowing her the way I do. I’d commit murder if that shit ever happened. Funnily enough, the more I hate her father, the more reassured of us she is, weird. But that’s how my baby’s mind works.
He’s still trying to get back in his kids’ good graces but neither of them want anything to do with him. I stand in front of that shit and make sure he never touches her or Travis. She doesn’t even know the half of it.
Once I was sure that she really didn’t want anything to do with him, that it wasn’t just a passing phase, I never let him anywhere near my family.
And once I realized that she was more upset with the fact that she’d once loved him and he’d destroyed her mother I’d helped her work that shit out in her head.
She had to learn how to separate the father from the husband. Though as far as I’m concerned if he was any kind of father he wouldn’t have turned out to be such an asshole husband.
I taught her that she didn’t have to forgive him since he didn’t ask for forgiveness, but she had to learn how to come to terms with it for her own sake.
Now I’m trying to be the kind of man that my kids can grow up and respect, and I do that by showing their mother love. My boys grow up to be assholes I’d disown them.
But so far we’re off to a good start and I don’t see us going off the rails. If I can survive two pregnancies and all that shit entails I don’t see anything making me leave her side.
And if she can put up with me on top of her ass all the time, literally and figuratively I don’t think she’ll lose her mind either. The fact that she knows she’s not allowed to leave me ever is just a bonus.
After one last look to make sure she was comfortable I crept out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen.
My niece saw me and came running on her little spindly legs. “Unca Max, unca Max.” She held up her arms to be picked up and I shifted the boys to one arm and lifted her with the other.
I have a pretty good idea what life with a daughter is going to be like because of my niece. I don’t know how things are going to be when she comes because this one is already jealous as hell of the boys.
I took the three of them to their special table with the seats attached and belted them in. “Morning everybody.”
“Morning son, Anna went back to bed?”
“Yep.”
“Poor little thing. She was talking about going into the city but I don’t think that’s a good idea, her belly looks like it dropped even more since last night.”
Same thing I’m thinking. If she’d let Tony drive her all the time I wouldn’t worry so much, but she says driving is about the only independence she has left, whatever the hell that means.
I get jock sweat each time she leaves the house and now that her belly touches the steering wheel it takes everything out of me not to follow her.