"You're suffering," he said, "rather like a mortal man, but you aren't mortal. And this one in England, he is mortal, but he isn't afraid of you. "
"This is true," I said. "I suffer, and I suffer for one has done me wrong and I have no vengeance nor justice. But let's not speak of such things. I would be alone now. "
A silence fell between us. It was time for me to go but I had not the strength quite yet to do it.
Had I given him the usual purse? I must do it now. I reached inside my tunic and brought it out. I laid it down, and spilled the golden coins so that I might see them in the light of the candle.
Some vague and heated thoughts formed in my mind to do with Amadeo and the brilliance of this gold and of how angry I was, and of how I seethed for vengeance against Santino. I saw ikons with their halos of gold; I saw the coin of the Talamasca made of gold. I saw the golden florins of Florence.
I saw the golden bracelets once worn by Pandora on her beautiful naked arms. I saw the golden bracelets which I had put upon the arms of Akasha.
Gold and gold and gold.
And Amadeo had chosen ashes!
Well, I shall find Pandora once more, I thought. I shall find her! And only if she swears against me will I let her go, will I let her remain with this mysterious companion. Oh, I trembled as I thought of it, as I vowed, as I whi
spered these wordless thoughts.
Pandora, yes! And some night, for Amadeo, there would be the reckoning with Santino!
A long silence ensued.
The priest beside me was not frightened. I wondered if he could possibly guess how grateful I was that he allowed me to remain there in such precious stillness.
At last, I ran my left fingers over the golden coins.
"Is there enough there for flowers?" I asked, "flowers and trees and beautiful plants in your garden?"
"There is enough there to endow our gardens forever," he answered.
"Ah forever!" I said. "I have such a love of that word, forever. "
"Yes, it is a timeless word," he said, raising his mossy eyebrows as he looked at me. "Time is ours, but forever belongs to God, don't you think?"
"Yes, I do," I said. I turned to face him. I smiled at him, and I saw the warm impression of this on him just as if I'd spoken kind words to him. He couldn't conceal it.
"You've been good to me," I said.
"Will you write to your friend again?" he asked.
"Not from here," I answered. "It's too dangerous for me. From some other place. And I beg you, forget these things. "
He laughed in the most honest and simple way. "Forget!" he said.
I rose to go.
"You shouldn't have read the letter," I said. "It can only cause you worry. "
"I had to do it," he answered. "Before I gave it to you. "
"I cannot imagine why," I answered. I walked quietly towards the door of the scriptorium.
He came beside me.
"And so you go then, Marius?" he asked.
I turned around. I lifted my hand in farewell.