"Bianca, don't do this," I pleaded.
"I saw your passion for her," she whispered, "and I knew that in a moment you would cast me aside. Oh, don't deny it. I saw it. And something in me was crushed. I couldn't protect that thing. I couldn't prevent its destruction. We were too close, you and I. And though I have loved you with my whole soul, so I believed I knew you completely, I didn't know the being you were with her. I didn't know the being whom I saw in her eyes. "
She rose from the chair and moved away from me. She looked out the window.
"I wish I had not heard all those many words," she said, "but we have such gifts, we blood drinkers. And do you think I don't realize that you would never have made me your child except for the fact that you needed me? Had you not been burnt and helpless, you would never have given me the Blood. "
"Will you listen to me when I tell you that's not so? When first I saw you I loved you. It was only out of respect for your mortal life that I didn't share these cursed gifts with you! It was you who filled my eyes and heart before I ever found Amadeo. I swear this to you. Don't you remember the portraits I painted of you? Do you remember the hours I spent in your rooms? Think now on all that we've given each other. "
"You deceived me," she said.
"Yes, I did," I said. "And I admit it, and I swear that I shall never do it again. Not for Pandora or for anyone. "
On and on I pleaded.
"I can't stay with you," she said. "I must go now. "
She turned around and looked at me. She seemed wrapped in quiet and resolution.
"I'm begging you," I said again. "Without pride, without reserve, I'm begging you, don't leave me. "
"I must go," she said. "And now, please, let me go down to take my leave of the Mother and the Father. I would do this alone if you would allow it. "
I nodded.
It was a long time before she came up from the shrine. She told me quietly that she would leave on the following sunset.
And true to her word, she did, her coach and four pulling out of the gates, as she began her journey.
I stood at the top of the stairs watching her go. I stood listening until the coach was deep into the forest. I stood unbelieving and unable to accept that she was gone from me.
How could this horrid disaster have occurred¡ªthat I lose Pandora and Bianca both? That I should be alone? And I was powerless to stop it.
For many months after that, I could scarcely believe what had befallen me.
I told myself that a letter would soon come from Pandora, or that she herself would return with Arjun, that Pandora would will it so.
I told myself that Bianca would realize that she could not exist without me. She would come home, eager to forgive me, or she would send some hasty letter asking me to come to her.
But these things did not happen.
A year passed and these things did not happen.
And another year and then fifty. And these things did not happen.
And all the while, though I moved deeper into the woods surrounding
Dresden, in another more fortified castle, I remained near at hand in the hopes that one or both of my loves would come back to me.
For a half century I remained, waiting, not believing, and weighed down with a sorrow I couldn't share with anyone.
I think I had ceased to pray in the shrine though I tended it faithfully.
And I had begun, in a confidential manner, to talk to Akasha. I had begun to tell her my woes in a more informal manner than before, to tell her of how I had failed with those whom I had loved.
"But I shall never fail with you, my Queen," I said, and I said it often.
And then as the 17008 commenced, I prepared to make a daring move to an island where I would rule supreme in the Aegean Sea, surrounded by mortals who would easily accept me as their lord, in a stone house which I had prepared for me by a host of mortal servants.