Awakening the Ravensdale Heiress

Her heart was in her throat as she waited for the test to work. She blinked when the results came through. Negative? How could it possibly be negative? She snatched up the packaging and reread the instructions. Maybe she hadn’t followed the directions. No. She’d done exactly what she was supposed to do. Maybe it was too early to tell. She was only a couple of days past her period time. Maybe she didn’t have strong enough hormonal activity yet.

But she felt pregnant.

Or was it the hope of it she was feeling? The hope of a new life growing inside her—a life that would bond her and Leandro together for ever. A little baby boy or girl like those she had seen in the pharmacy. The little baby who would be the first child of the family she had always wanted.

Miranda did another test and another one. Each one came up negative. The disappointment was worse each time. She held up the first test for another look and her heart stopped like it had been struck with a thick plank when she saw Leandro reflected in the mirror in front of her.

‘What are you doing up here?’ he said. ‘You know you can use my bathroom.’

She turned to face him, hiding the test stick behind her back. ‘Erm...nothing...’

His eyes went to the pile of packaging on the marble top near the basin to the right of her. Miranda’s heart felt like it was going to pound its way out of her chest. She could feel it hammering against her breastbone as Leandro stepped into the bathroom. It wasn’t a tiny bathroom by any means but now it felt like a shoebox. She watched in scalp-tingling dread as he picked up one of the packages.

He turned and looked at her with a deep frown. ‘What’s going on?’

Miranda licked her tinder-dry lips. ‘I thought I was pregnant, but I’m not, so you don’t have to panic. I did a test. Three times. There were all negative.’ Tears were close. She could feel them building up behind her eyes. Stinging, burning. Threatening to spill over.

‘Pregnant?’ His voice sounded hoarse.

‘Yes, but it’s all good,’ she said, swallowing a knotty lump of emotion. ‘You don’t have to change your brand of condoms. They’ve done the job.’

His frown was so tight his brows were joined over the bridge of his nose. ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’

‘I only just realised I was late,’ Miranda said. ‘I’m never late. I wanted to make sure before I told you. I didn’t see the point in telling you if there was nothing to worry about. And there’s nothing to worry about, so you don’t have to worry.’

He put the package down and raked a hand through his hair with a hand that wasn’t steady. His face was a strange colour. Not his usual olive tan but blanched, ashen. ‘So...you weren’t going to tell me unless it was positive?’

‘No.’

He studied her for a moment. ‘Are you relieved it was negative?’

‘I...’ Miranda couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell another white lie. It was time to face up to what she had been avoiding for the last twelve days—for the last seven years. ‘I’m bitterly disappointed,’ she said. ‘I want a baby. I want to be a mother. I want to have a family. I can’t pretend I don’t. I ache when I see mothers and babies. I ache so deep inside it takes my breath away. I can’t do this any more, Leandro. I know you don’t want what I want. I know you can’t bear the thought of having a child in case you can’t keep them safe. But I want to take that risk. I want to live my life and take all the risks it dishes up because locking myself away hasn’t made me happy. It hasn’t brought Mark back and it hasn’t helped his parents move on. I’m ready to move on.’ She took a deep breath and added, ‘I want to move on with you.’

A flicker of pain passed over his face. ‘I can’t. I told you before. I can’t.’

Miranda’s heart sank. ‘Are you saying you don’t love me?’

His jaw worked for a moment. ‘I’m saying I can’t give you what you want.’

Miranda fought back tears. ‘You love me. I know you do. I see it every time you look at me. I feel it every time you touch me. We belong together. You know we do.’

He turned to grip the edges of the marble counter, his back turned towards her as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. Self-doubt suddenly assailed her. Could she be wrong? Could she have got it horribly wrong? Maybe he didn’t love her. Maybe all this had been for him was a ‘thing’. Maybe she was just another one of his casual flings that didn’t mean anything.

‘Leandro?’

He pushed himself away from the counter and turned to look at her, his expression taut, his posture stiff as if every muscle was being drawn back inside his body. ‘It was wrong of me to get involved with you like this. I’m not the right person for you. I’m not the right person for anybody.’