I was there, but not my reflection. It was another me, smiling at me with triumphant glittering eyes, both hands up against the glass as if he were in a prison cell behind it. Same clothes, yes, and me down to the last detail of long blond curling hair and glittering blue-gray eyes. But not a reflection at all.
I was petrified. The dim echo of doppelganger rose in my ears, and all the horror such a concept connotes. I don't know if I can describe how chilling this was--this figure of myself inhabited by another, leering at me, deliberately menacing me.
I remained sober faced, and I continued to adjust my tie, though I could see no reflection of what I was doing. And he continued to smile in that icy mocking way, as the laughter of the Voice rose in my brain.
"Am I supposed to like you for this, Voice?" I asked. "I thought you loved me."
He was stricken. His face--my face--crumpled like that of a little boy about to sob. He put his hands up as if to shield himself, fingers hovering, eyes quivering. The image vanished, to be replaced by a true reflection of me standing there, puzzled, faintly horrified, and not a little angry. I straightened my tie for the last time.
"I do love you," said the Voice sadly, almost mournfully. "I love you!" and he began to chatter, and roar, and discourse, and all those vocabularies were suddenly tumbling together, Russian, German, French, Latin....
That night, when Benji began broadcasting from New York, he said that things could not continue like this. He urged the young ones to flee the cities. He begged once more for the elders of the tribe to step up.
I went to Anatolia to escape it all. I wanted to see Hagia Sophia again, to walk under those arches. I wanted to wander the ruins of Gobekli Tepe, the oldest Neolithic settlement ever discovered. To Hell with the problems of the tribe. Whatever gave Benji the idea that we were a tribe?
2
Benji Mahmoud
I FIGURED THAT Benji Mahmoud was probably twelve years old when Marius made him a vampire, but no one knew for sure, including Benji. He'd been born in Israel to a Bedouin family, then hired and imported into the United States by the family of a young female piano player named Sybelle--who was clearly insane--so that he could be Sybelle's companion. Both young people met the Vampire Armand in New York in the mid-1990s but weren't inducted into the Blood till a little later, when Marius worked the Dark Trick on both of them as a gift to Armand. Of course Armand was furious, felt betrayed, deplored that the human lives of his charges had been cut short, etcetera, but Marius had done the only thing that could be done with two humans who were living for all practical purposes in Our World and fast losing taste for any other. Human wards like that are hostages to fortune. And Armand should have known that, that some vampire enemy or other was going to knock off one or the other or both of these two young people just to get at Armand. That's the way such things can too easily go.
So Marius brought them over.
I was not myself in those days. I was battered and broken thanks to my adventures with Memnoch, a spirit who claimed to have been "the Devil" of the Christian belief system, and I scarcely noticed all this, only knowing that I loved the music that Sybelle made and little more.
By the time I took real notice of Benji Mahmoud, he was living in New York with Armand and Louis and Sybelle, and he had invented the radio station. As I mentioned earlier, it was broadcast at first, but Benji was far too inventive to put up with the mortal world's constraints on him for long, and he soon operated the program as an internet radio stream out of the townhouse on the Upper East Side, often speaking to the Children of the Darkness nightly and inviting their phone calls from all over the world.
In the broadcast days, Benji had talked in a low voice, under Sybelle's music, a voice that without specific enhancement couldn't be heard by mortal ears, hoping that the vampires of the world would get the message. Trouble was, a lot of the vampires couldn't hear him either. So when Benji went to internet radio he dropped that trick. He just talked, talked to Us and paid no attention whatsoever to the vampire-fiction enthusiasts or little Goths who called the show, weeding them out by the timbre of their voices easily enough to devote his on-air time to real Children of Darkness.
Sybelle's exquisite piano music was a major part of the show, and sometimes they broadcast as much as five or six hours a night, and sometimes not at all. But Benji's message was soon heard from one end of the Earth to the other:
We are a tribe; we want to survive; and the elders aren't helping us.
Now when he first started to talk of this--of the parentless and the undefended haunting every city on Earth and the negligence and selfishness of the "elders," I thought surely somebody would take offense, shut him down, or at least set him back in some dramatic way.
But Benji was right about things. I was not. Nobody bothered to stop him because in fact nobody cared. And Benji went on talking to the mavericks and rogues and orphans who called his line at night about how to be careful, how to persevere, how to feed on the evildoer, and cover up the kill, and remember always that the world belongs to humans.
Benji gave the Undead everywhere an argot as well, peppering his commentaries with terms from the Vampire Chronicles, including some I hadn't used before, or ever heard perhaps, establishing a language for all to share. Interesting, that. Or at least I found it so.
A couple of times I went to New York just to spy on Benji. He'd developed a definite personal style by then. He wore expertly tailored three-piece suits, usually in gray-or brown-striped worsted wool, gorgeous pastel dress shirts, and flashing Brooks Brothers silk ties, and he always wore a black felt Italian-made fedora, the perfect gangster hat, and spick-and-span wing-tip shoes.
As the result, even with his small build, small bones, small round cheerful little face, and glittering black eyes, he didn't look like a child at all, but like a little man, and that had become his favorite pet name for himself. "Little Man." Little Man owned more than five galleries in Chelsea and SoHo, a Greenwich Village restaurant just off Washington Square, and an old-fashioned haberdashery shop where he bought his hats. He had legal papers galore, including a legal driver's license, plus credit cards, cell phones, a bicycle or two, and often drove his restored MG TD sports car in New York on summer nights, but mostly went about in a chauffeur-driven black Lincoln stretch limousine, and spent a lot of time in cafes and restaurants pretending to dine with mortals who found him fascinating. He and Sybelle hunted well in the back alleys. They both knew the art of the Little Drink and could satisfy themselves with any number of Little Drinks at nightclubs and charity balls without ever taking a life or disabling some innocent victim.
And whereas Sybelle was something of a remote and mysterious presence at his side--gorgeous in designer gowns and costly gems--Benji had scores of human friends, who thought of him as eccentric and amusing and delightful with his "vampire radio show," which they considered "performance art" of the most clever sort, assuming he supplied all the voices for the show, including the Japanese-and Chinese-speaking Children of the Night who called in and talked for hours in their native tongue, taxing Benji's preternatural powers to the max as he strove to keep up with them.
In sum, Benji was a wild success as a vampire. He had a website backing up the radio show and an e-mail address, and sometimes read e-mails over the air
, so to speak, but it always came back to the same thing: We're a tribe, and as a tribe we need to stick together, have loyalty, care about one another, and figure on lasting in this world where immortals could be burnt up or decapitated like anybody else. The elders have sold us out!
And always, always, there was Benji's warning to the Undead: "Don't come to New York. Don't try to find me. I'm here for you by phone and by e-mail, but never set foot in this town, or you'll have to face Armand, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone." In fact, he was always warning them that no one city could really support the numbers of vampires being Born to Darkness now, and fledglings had to be clever, had to seek out new territories, and had to learn to live in peace with others.
On the phone, the callers spilled their woe. They were anxious and afraid; they deplored the brawls happening all over; and they were scared to death of the ancient ones who would burn you up on sight. In vain they searched for the great Lestat, the great Marius, the great Pandora, on and on and on.
Over and over Benji commiserated, advised, and sometimes just shared their grief. "They don't help us, do they?" Benji would declare. "Why did Lestat write his books! Where is the great scholar David Talbot, and what of the great Jesse Reeves, Born to Darkness in the arms of the ancient Maharet? What a selfish, self-centered, and self-obsessed bunch they are!"
And then he'd start with his "Lestat, where are you?"
Like I'm one of the elders? Come on, now, seriously!